Boys, Drama, and Eating Disorders
by FrednGeorgeFanGirl
Summary: Watch the drama unfold as Ginny battles with anorexia and bulimia. Where did Fred and George's puking pastilles go and why has Ginny developed an unhealthy jealousy of Cho? Will she ever reveal her secret and get the help she needs? Follows through OOTP.
1. How it started

_AN: This fic is a challenge submission to the lovely Amy-2609 , to which I give all the credit she deserves for thinking of most of the idea. This is not meant to offend anyone who has struggled with eating disorders or anyone who has a friend or loved one who has. It is just meant as a story about something that Ginny went through. _

_This fic takes place throughout Order of The Pheonix. In the beginning, Ginny is probably about 5'2 and 110 pounds or so, which would be a normal, healthy weight for her. She is anything but fat, but she starts to believe more and more that she is overweight and that is why Harry doesn't love her. (just to clarify) _

_Disclaimer: For this chapter, and for all the chapters to come I am saying right here that I do not own Harry Potter._

o0o0o0

Ginny Weasley was sitting on her bed in her small, gloomy bedroom in Grimauld Place talking to Hermione about a certain black-haired boy with glasses, a boy in which she was completely and unconditionally in love with.

Only two problems. One, he didn't love her back and two; she already had a boyfriend, Michael Corner, who she met at the Yule Ball last year.

She wasn't sure if she liked Michael, sure he was cute and a good at snogging, but Ginny had always fancied Harry. Simple as that.

"But, Hermione I _can't_ get over him," said an exasperated Ginny.

"Ginny, you know how boys are, they have the emotional range of a teaspoon, just keep going out with Michael, he loves you. I've seen those owls he's sent you, I'm not saying that the Harry thing won't work out eventually, but I think you should just move on and forget about it for a while like we talked about before you started dating Michael. You did a good job pretending yesterday when we were all talking before dinner. "

"I know, but it's all fake. I seriously don't know how to get over him. And it makes me even all the more guilty for pretending to like Micheal when even when I'm with him, all I can think about is how I wish he was Harry. I don't know maybe you're right, I guess I'll just give up on him for a while.

Hermione gave Ginny an encouraging smile and with that she walked out the door.

Sighing, Ginny wondered _why _Harry didn't like her. It seemed like she could get any boy but the one she really wanted.

She opened up her wardrobe and examined herself in the mirror. She hated what she saw.

No wonder Harry didn't want her, he was the famous Potter, for Merlin's sake, he couldn't be seen with a girl with a stomach like a quaffle, thunder thighs, and a saggy behind that looked like she scarfed down a dozen cauldron cakes a day.

Hot, angry, tears springing to her eyes, she slammed the wardrobe door shut, not wanting to look at herself anymore.

She vowed to give up sweets until she was skinnier.

Ginny lay face down on top of her bed, when her mum called her for dinner.

She groaned, how was she supposed to go down to dinner and face a house full of people when her eyes were red and puffy and she didn't want to eat anything.

She blew her nose and wiped her eyes, hoping no one would notice that she spend the last quarter of an hour crying, and went downstairs to the kitchen.

Beef stew.

Ginny served herself the smallest amount of stew possible, so that she wasn't eating too much but her mother would still be satisfied with the amount of dinner she had.

She played with her food, not eating the potatoes because of the carbs.

_Ew_ she thought looking at the beef, _look at all the fat on i_t.

She decided to just eat the vegetables and she drank water instead of pumpkin juice, like everyone else was drinking.

"Ginny, said Mrs Weasley, you're not eating much, aren't you hungry?"

"Not really, I had a bunch of chocolate frogs before dinner," Ginny lied.

"Here, have a roll dear.", her mother said handing her the piece of bread.

"Thanks, Mum."

Ginny took the roll, but when her mother or anyone else wasn't looking, she discreetly tossed it to Crookshanks from under the table.

Crookshanks began playing with it, tossing it around.

Ginny excused herself from the table, saying she was tired, so that she would not be tempted by her mother's delicious homemade treacle tart.

Ginny ran up the stars two at a time, and locked herself in the bathroom that she shared with her siblings.

She took off her clothes, and completely naked, she stepped on the scale. _112. Well, _she thought_, that'll go down soon if I keep dieting._

She took a shower, but not staying in too long because she had heard that water makes you bloat, got dressed in her pj's and proceeded to her temporary bedroom that she shared with Hermione to go to sleep.

Hermione was already there. Ginny was afraid that she was going to comment about how little she ate for dinner, but thankfully, she didn't seem to have noticed anything.

"Night 'Mione," said Ginny sleepily.

"Night Ginny."

That night, Ginny tossed and turned, her stomach growling because of lack of food.

She contemplated going down to the kitchen to get something to eat, but she willed her self not too.

"_Stop it, Ginny, she thought, you just need to get used to it, you can't give into temptation, if you want Harry to like you, you've got to slim down_."

After finally getting to sleep she was awoken by the Hermione what seemed like ten minutes later telling her that her mum had called them for breakfast.

Ughh, Ginny thought, not another meal already!

o0o0

_AN: I am also aware that sometimes, when people have eating disorders it is not just because they think they are fat. This can attribute a lot to it, but it can also be because of deeper psychological reasons, such as maybe Ginny's depression caused by Harry not loving her back, other problems in her life, and not to mention having SIX older brothers!  
_


	2. Sweating away the hunger pains

Ginny slowly made her way down to the kitchen where her brothers were eating ravenously, shoveling down their bacon and eggs like they had never eaten before. She sat down and poured herself some water. She ate a raspberry from the bowl of fruit Mrs. Weasley had put out for them, actually taking three bites of it before she had eaten the whole raspberry.

"Don't you want any bacon or eggs?" asked Mrs. Weasley?

"No, you know I'm not very hungry in the morning." said Ginny, the lie rolling right off of her tongue.

As soon as she said it, her stomach growled loudly, begging Ginny to fill it with something. Ginny excused herself from the table and ran up the stairs just in time to collapse at the top of the stairs, as she began experiencing the worst hunger pains she had ever felt in her life.

She made it to the bathroom, leaning over the toilet feeling so hungry that she was nauseous , but nothing came up, there was nothing in her stomach except for water and the sad little raspberry in there all by itself. She stood up and weighed herself again. 108. Had she really already lost two pounds? She felt elated by the fact that she was beginning to lose weight.

The temporary ecstasy inspired her to lose even more weight that she knicked a box of garbage bags from the supply closet, locked herself in the bathroom once more, got naked, and wrapped herself in them.

She filled up the bathtub, closing the curtain so that the steam would stay inside. When it was hot enough, she slid in, garbage bags and all. She sat there soaking in the tub, the mix of the hot water, steam, and garbage bags making her sweat profusely. The more body fluid she lost, the less she would weight.

She drained the tub, peeled the bags off of her, and turned the shower head on and washed her body of all perspiration. She got dressed for the day, as though she had just done nothing out the ordinary.

Her stomach ached, but at least it had stopped growling. She willed herself to get used to it, as soon as the pain went away, her hunger signals would probably turn off, making it easier for her to not eat.

Ginny was starting to develop an irrational fear of being fat. Every time she was even tempted by food, she was obsessed with how many calories that particular food item had, how many grams of fat, how many grams of carbohydrates? She looked at her mother, as guilty as it made Ginny for looking down on her mother, but she did not want to look like her.

Throughout Ginny's whole life, everyone was always saying how much she looked like her mother.

"You have your mother's looks" this and "Your going to grow up to be just like your mum" that.

Well, she did not want to be just like her mother. She greatly respected and appreciated everything that her mother did for her and her siblings, but well she did have six siblings.

Molly Weasley had endured giving birth to seven children, not to mention a pair of twins, plus all the stress of raising seven children only ten years apart, and well all of that got to her figure. Ginny swore that she would not gain weight like her mother did as she got older.

Of course, she would probably not have seven children, like her mother did, but she did have the same eyes and the two Weasley women were both short in height, only about 5'2, they both had thick, wavy, red hair, things that you can not control.

But you can control your weight, and if not eating is what it took to have that perfect, thin body that Ginny so desperately desired, then that was what she was going to do.

For lunch that day, Mrs. Weasley had made a shepard's pie. Ginny poked at it with her forked, attempting to make it look more eaten than it was.

Every once in a while, when someone was looking, she picked up a bite with her fork and put it in her mouth to create the illusion that she was eating it, while savoring the hot taste and smell of the potatoes, corn, and meat, but not consuming any of it

. She did the same sort of thing at dinner, but it was much harder to make her chicken look eaten without being so disgusting as to chew up her chicken and spit it out.

She may have given a little to a certain long haired, orange feline. She went to bed that night hungrier than she ever felt, but with a good feeling that she may be losing weight and she could see her dream of Harry loving her closer than she had ever seen it.


	3. Loss of control

Ginny was dreaming.

_She dreamt that she was playing Quidditch for the Gryffindor team, along with Harry_. _She was flying with great agility and speed, the quaffle in her hands, as she flew toward the goal-post._

_She swerved and maneuvered through the opposing players, as though she was invincible. The crowd roared as she easily scored an additional ten points for her team._

_She could see Harry from halfway across the pitch, holding up a sign that said 110, her weight. He didn't look happy, almost disapproving. Ginny didn't care what the rest of the crowd thought of her, not when Harry, who's opinion mattered the most to her, looked down on her._

_She was unable to fly anymore; she was unsteady, falling…_

Ginny woke abruptly, drenched in ice cold sweat. Panting, she looked over at the other inhabitant of the room, who was still sleeping soundly.

Ginny was breathing heavily, and as she got out of bed and stood up, she felt faint, the weakest, perhaps she had ever felt. She desperately needed to fill her stomach with something.

Without even thinking of the guilt she would soon feel, she absentmindedly made her way down to the kitchen. Quietly, so as to not wake any of the house's many inhabitants, she opened the refrigerator.

Without any self control or will power she grabbed everything she could see that looked edible.

She started with the leftovers from that nights dinner, which Ginny had eaten none. She sat down on the kitchen floor, leaning against the refrigerator, the door open.

She took a chicken leg and began gnawing at it ravenously, ripping huge chunks of it with her front teeth, and barely taking the time to chew and swallow before she took another huge bite.

She made her way through three chicken legs, and not even bothering to put away the container of chicken, she started on the mashed potatoes.

They were cold, but Ginny didn't even notice. She quite literally shoveled them into her mouth.

She took a long swig of pumpkin juice, drinking like an extremely thirsty little kid, before devouring half a loaf of bread.

She was uncontrollable, insane. After only a quarter of an hour, she sat there on the floor with the entire dinner scattered around her, the jug of pumpkin juice spilling onto the floor, along with a dozen chocolate frog wrappers.

Realization of her actions came onto her quicker than she had acted in the first place. She gasped as the scene before her became a reality before her eyes. She hated herself.

Filled with such an intense feeling of self-loathing, she started to cry in long silent, but very wet sobs, each one increasingly more painful than the next.

She did not know how she could have sunk this low, but yet she still was extremely unhappy with her body and she so very much wanted to be skinny, like the women she saw on the cover of all those muggle magazines.

Ginny sat there crying silently for a long time, feeling guilty and helpless. Her stomach did not even feel better.

Before it had ached because of hunger, and now it ached because of surplus of food being forced into her stomach too quickly, and too much at a time.

There would be no happy medium in an eating disorder.

Ginny did not think she had an eating disorder, it had only been a few days since she had started doing this and behaving in the manner and she did not think she was starting on a long and difficult road, one that would be extremely hard to recover from.

She still thought that she was just trying to lose a couple pounds, to look better.

Ginny was not aware that there were so many deep and psychological reasons for her behavior, she only knew of the most apparent and obvious ones, that she wanted Harry to like her, and that she thought she was too chubby.

Once Ginny had calmed down, she hid the evidence by putting away the food, wiping up the spilled pumpkin juice, and throwing away the chocolate wrappers.

She couldn't believe she had eaten all of that. All those calories were starting to make their way through her digestive system at that very moment.

She would not be able to sleep knowing that it could all be fat in the morning, especially knowing that the past few days would have been for nothing.

She thought about making herself throw up, but she had always hated getting sick and was scared to do it, so she decided that she would let it go this once, and start fresh in the morning, vowing never to slip again.

She had just started to head for the stairs when before she could stop herself, she was throwing up without her consent into the kitchen sink.

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_A/N: Hey, please review! They make me really happy!_


	4. The twins know how to make anything fun

When Ginny woke up the next morning after finally getting to sleep, it took her a minute to remember the events that had taken place the last night. With a twinge of embarrassment and shame, Ginny groaned and got out of bed. She went to the bathroom to weigh her self.

105 pounds. She had already lost five pounds, but to Ginny that number wasn't just a number, and it was not small enough. "I'll stop when I get to one hundred." She thought, but in the back of her mind she wondered if she _could_ stop anytime she wanted. The thought frightened her, but she pushed it to the back of her mind, only to be overlapped by thoughts of how she would make excuses not to eat today, which was an increasingly difficult task, with so many people in the house.

Ginny went back to her and Hermione's bedroom and started to dress in her muggle clothes, when she heard a voice coming from the next bed .

"Ginny"? said Hermione.

"Yeah?"

"Well, it's just that why do you look thinner?"

"_Do I really look thinner?"_ Ginny thought to herself.

"It's nothing, Ginny said, I just haven't had much of an appetite since we've been here. It must have something to do with the gloom of this place."

"Okay", said Hermione, eyeing her suspiciously.

"_Damn_, Ginny thought, _I have to be more careful around her."_

It _was_ true. Out of anyone in the whole, Hermione was the only girl her age, she might understand more than her parents, or any of the boys would, but Ginny knew that Hermione wasn't that type of girl, who would get so crazy over a boy that didn't like her that she would stop eating, just to please him. Ginny knew that wasn't why she was doing it either, honestly, she didn't really know why, except that it gave her a sense of control in her otherwise uncontrollable life.

As the two girls walked into the kitchen, Ginny noticed the twins untying a bundle of letters from a large owl.

"Ooh! Oh my gosh! It's the Hogwarts letters isn't it?!" squealed Hermione.

Ginny knew why Hermione's voice was so obvious with anticipation, she was itching to see if she was made a Gryffindor prefect. It seemed incredible to Ginny that the possibility of being made a prefect was Hermione's main concern, when Ginny was feeling positively faint, like she could collapse at any moment, only to give away what she had been doing for the past three or four days.

"Yeah, keep your pants on Hermione, here" said George, sharing an exasperated glance at Fred, while they and Ginny watched Hermione slowly opening her letter, her eyes like galleons.

A small red badge fell out of the envelope and into Hermione's palm.

"YESS!" she screamed.

"Positively smashing Hermione!" said Fred wringing her hand, the sarcastic tone in his voice apparent to all but Hermione, who was positively gleeful.

"Yeah, we always knew you would be granted such an _honor_" said George.

"Just think George, little Hermione, leading her fellow Gryffindors on the road to success!"

"Alright, leave her alone" said Ginny, Congratulations Hermione, you'll be a great prefect."

"Thanks!" said Hermione. "I've got to owl mum and dad and tell them!"

"Yeah and we better be getting these letters up to Harry and ickle Ronnikins" said Fred.

"Wait, said George with trepidation, "you don't think! If Hermione…Then...could _RON_?

"Nah, that little git would be too scared to give _himself_ a detention".

"Yeah, it'll be Harry. Poor kid. Coming Gin?"

"Nah, go ahead."

"Alright", said George suspiciously.

"This works out, Ginny thought as she was left alone in the kitchen, if anyone asks I'll just tell them I already ate."

Just then her mother walked in, the pile of laundry that was in her hands was so big that it blocked her face.

"Hello, Ginny, dear, would you take your clothes and pack them in your trunk upstairs? She asked.

"Sure, mum."

No sooner than Ginny put down her pile of clothes on her bed, she was startled by a scream from her mother. She could hear the twins from the next room making retching noises, as her mother squealed in delight.

"Didn't they expect Hermione to be a prefect?" Ginny thought.

"OH MY LITTLE RONNIE, A PREFECT!"

"WHAT? Ginny laughed. "Guess Fred and George were wrong" She felt quite bad for Ron, actually, she assumed that Fred and George would make fun of him. She knew she was right as she heard the twins roaring with laughter from upstairs.

That night's dinner was "a little party, instead of a sit-down dinner" according to her mother. Not that Ginny minded, it would be much easier to conceal the fact that wouldn't be eating anything than sitting around at the table with tons of people that had a clear view of her plate.

She congratulated Ron, trying not to laugh, and was bullied from her mother into choosing a baked potato to eat. What was she supposed to do with this? She could see Fred and George in the corner, haggling with Mundungus. They thought they were so slick, little did they know, that they didn't fool Ginny for a second. Their mother may be unaware of their business dealings, but she could tell that they were about to acquire some sort of illegal substance.

After her father and Bill had arrived, and congratulated Ron , Ginny hugged her older brother. Bill had always been her favorite the one that was nicest to her growing up. She cried for days after he had moved to Egypt. She loved having him around again.

"Hey Gin, how's it going?"

"It's been alright, I should go upstairs though I'm not feeling too well."

"Okay, said Bill slowly, "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Let me know if you want to, you know, _talk_ okay?"

"Yeah, I will. Thanks Bill."

"_Oh great_, Ginny thought, as she walked up the stairs, having abandoned her potato downstairs, _he can see through me."_

Bill had always had a knack for that. He knew when something was bothering her. At least she would be at Hogwarts again soon, but it was comforting to know that if she got into trouble with this, her older brother would be there for her. She figured Bill would be the first one she would go to if she wanted help .

"Stop thinking that Ginny, you'll stop when you get to one hundred pounds." She thought.

How wrong she was.

Back in her room, Ginny lay down on top of her bed for a much needed nap, only to find Fred and George bombarding into her room five minutes later.

"What do you two want?" Ginny groaned.

"Well, if your gonna be a downer, maybe we won't let you in on the fun!" said Fred.

Ginny grinned. She always loved taking part in the elaborate schemes of her brother's minds.

"What is it?" Ginny asked, happier this time.

"We found _THIS_!" said George,showing her what was behind his back. It was a bottle of Ogden's old firewhiskey.

"We managed to knick it when everyone was downstairs. We figured we should have some fun while everyone is cooing over the little prefects.", answering Ginny's unspoken question.

"Do you want some or not?"

Ginny thought about this. She had never drank before, but she could use something to numb the pain and anxiety she had been feeling.She was nervous, but Fred and George were party animals, and nothing bad had ever happened to them. She was actually surprised that her normally protective older brothers were so eager for her to drink with them. But then again, how many calories were in that? She supposed she may be throwing up later anyway, so she agreed.

"OKAY!" said Fred. "I have a game", taking out a pack of cards, " we play exploding snap, and when someone loses a hand they have to take a shot."

George laughed and dealt out the cards. Ginny watched her brothers enviously, who could gulp down the firewhiskey and hardly even react to it, while Ginny coughed and spluttered the first time she swallowed it. It burnt her throat on the way down. By the middle of the game, even Fred and George were tipsy, and Ginny was completely wasted. It started to feel good. She didn't feel any of her anxiety anymore, she felt positively giddy. She loved this new feeling. Her brothers laughed at her as she got up and almost toppled over.

"Okaaay guys, said Fred, " We have to hide the evidence, before mum finds out."

"We'll be hiding this in our room." said George, taking the bottle.

"It smells in here though" said Fred taking his wand and concealing the smell of firewhiskey.

You could say that the three of them were much more lively down at the party after their little game.

Ginny went to bed exhausted that night, and actually slept well at first, only to rush to the bathroom in the middle of the night with her head pounding and throwing up over the toilet.

"Fuck them" she said to herself.

o0o0o0

_A/N : Okay, so I'm very sorry if the drinking scene offended anyone. It was certainly not meant to, I just got the idea and I felt as though it was something that might happen. See, they are teenagers and I wondered if they ever did anything like that. I can definitely see Fred and George doing it lol I see them as big party animals. I think they definitely would have gotten firewhiskey or something at the Gryffindor common room parties and then I always saw their flat above the joke shop as their little "party house" I'm sorry if that offends you again, it's just what I can see Fred and George being like, they just love having fun._


	5. Epiphany

**A/N: So this starts the part of the story at Hogwarts, I know there are a lot of things that go on, but I can't do all of them. I have the story planned out by major events that I'm going to write, so the rest of the story will go from there. Although I am enjoying writing a chapter fic, I am anxious to finish it so I can move on to something else. It IS far from being finished though, not even half way yet, and there are a lot more exciting, if not dramatic things to happen I promise.**

**Oh btw at this point, Ginny has been repeating the same habits for a few weeks. I had to skip to the Hogwarts stuff, because there wasn't much else to do at Grimauld Place and I didn't want to get repetitive. Hogwarts is also where a lot of key things will happen I think.**

Ok storytime. _100 pounds_

The next few weeks flew by for Ginny. Despite living in a boring, gloomy, old house for the majority of her summer, she had many things to occupy her mind with, not only counting the fact that she was getting sicker and starting to rapidly lose weight.

Living in the same house as Harry was increasingly difficult for her. She was still finding any excuse to eat nothing, or as little as she could at every meal. Instead, she kept herself busy by staring longingly at Harry when she thought no one was looking, fascinated by the way he chew his food, wondering what he was thinking, and experiencing extreme jealousy when he would turn to talk to Hermione instead of her.

Once in a while, Harry would look up and catch Ginny's eye, seeing that she was looking at him, and give her a friendly smile. These were the few moments that kept Ginny from giving in and piling mashed potatoes on her plate.

Ginny stood in front of her mirror the night before they were returning to Hogwarts. She was beginning to get scared. There was a tired, hungry look to eyes, and her ribs stuck out a lot more than they used to, her face, arms, and legs, also looked thinner, but all Ginny could see was an unattractive girl.

That night, when Hermione was asleep, she looked through her trunk at all of Hermione's books. They were mostly her various text-books, but she also had a fair amount of books on various subjects, for "light reading".

Ginny sifted through them until she found one that looked promising. It was a book on all types of diseases and health topics. She turned to a section marked, _eating disorders. _ She quietly closed the trunk, so as to not wake Hermione, and once back in her bed, read under the covers from the light of her wand.

By the time she was done reading, Ginny had tears in her eyes.

She couldn't believe what she had gotten herself into. Mostly, she was terrified. She didn't _think _she had an eating disorder.

But from what this book said, it sounded like she had anorexia. If she didn't have anorexia, then the symptoms she just sounded a lot like the habits she had acquired in the past weeks

. _Dramatic weight-loss, strange eating habits like restricting certain foods and drastically changing the amount of food eaten, complaints of being fat when not, frequent weigh-ins, always checking in the mirror, making frequent trips to the bathroom, making excuses not to eat or lying about eating._

This is exactly what Ginny was doing, but she didn't have a serious problem, she thought as she read the last symptom, _denial about having a problem._

The effects it could have on her were even harder for Ginny to read than the symptoms. Osteoporosis, heart-failure, _infertility_? Ginny had always dreamt about being a mother, she wanted to the mother of Harry's children. 

How could she eat and be the mother of Harry's children at the same time? Ginny decided that she wanted to stop, she wanted to eat again.

She told herself she would stop when she got to one-hundred pounds, the weight she was at now. It scared her that there might be long-term effects if she kept this up, but she couldn't make herself stop. She curled up in a ball, trying to generate as much body heat as she could as she drifted to sleep. Despite it being August, Ginny was always cold lately.

The next morning was so hectic that no one saw her perform her meal-time ritual of cutting her food up into the smallest pieces possible. She ate a bite of unbuttered toast. It was flavorless, but she savored it.

She also managed a sip of orange juice. She was gradually going to eat more at each meal until she could eat somewhat normally again.

At least that was her plan. She also had another plan. Late last night, while she tossed and turned, she had an epiphany. What if she could still eat and not have hunger pains, but not have to digest her food?

It dawned on her that living in the same house as the inventors of a sweet that purposefully made you throw up made Ginny's job quite easy for her. Just before she packed her things for the final time, she slipped into Fred and George's room and went through each of their trunks, sifting through clothes, various joke items, and the occasional school book until she found what she had needed all along. 

She was able to steal a fair amount of puking pastilles without her brothers noticing that they were gone. At least, she hoped and prayed they wouldn't notice. They didn't keep count of their items did they?

Ginny's plan was to eat a small amount each meal, no carbs, until she couldn't stand it anymore. Then, she would allow herself to eat when no one was looking and throw it back up using the puking pastilles.

She would have to use them sparingly, in order for the twin's not to realize that she was stealing from them. How long would what she managed to take last her anyway?

Ginny was contemplating this as she walked out of her bedroom door, only to be hit in the back by one of the twin's trunk, which they had apparently charmed to fly, because they didn't feel like carrying them. Normally, the trunk wouldn't have knocked her over, but she had been to weak and faint lately that she was knocked off her feet and down the flight of stairs. The twins ran to pull her up.

"Woah, I'm sorry Gin!" Fred said.

Ginny just moaned, too annoyed and embarrassed to reply.

"What happened here!" yelled their mother who had just appeared, apparently having heard the racket.

"Um, well we just charmed our trunks to fly, so we didn't have to carry them and they sort of…hit her." George said rather lamely.

"YOU IDIOTS!"

After ushering Ginny into a chair and yelling herself hoarse at the twins, Mrs. Wealsey patched her daughter up.

"Those two!" said Mrs. Weasley, as she examined Ginny, "what were they thinking?"

Mrs. Weasley was stopped from her tirade as she lifted Ginny's shirt up to see the bruises on her back. Ginny's waist was paper-thin, and her shoulder blades stuck out on her back.

"Ginny! I didn't realize how thin you're getting! Have you been eating at all?"

"Course I have, Mum."

"Now that I think about it, I haven't really been seeing you eat much of anything dear, have you been ill?"

"No, I've been fine mum," said Ginny irritated.

" Ginevra! You've obviously lost weight, I want to know why!"

"Mum, I've just been eating healthier, that's all. The weight I've lost is just the weight I had from eating sweets a lot"

Mrs. Weasley said nothing else, but made a mental note to herself, to send her extra food packages while she was at Hogwarts. She put some magical cream on her bruises, and once satisfied that Ginny was uninjured, she let her go.

Soon after that little episode they all departed for King's Cross. Ginny dragged along with everyone else, pushing her carriage, walking with everyone else towards platform 9 ¾. She barely had enough energy to push her carriage through the barrier.

After saying their goodbyes, Ron and Hermione left Ginny with Harry and soon joined by Neville, to go to the Prefect's compartment. Ginny took this opportunity to be with Harry without the company of Ron and Hermione. She was surprised at her own confidence when she told Harry to come with her and find an empty compartment.

**A/N oooh cliffhanger, wonder what'll happen? I was going to write the whole Luna, Hogwarts express, plant goo covering them scene, but this chapter took a long time that'll be next chapter, most likely combined with the Great Hall feast and Ginny's first night back at Hogwarts. I'm sorry if there is any grammatical or spelling errors, I was far too lazy to read through it again. REVIEW!  
**


	6. First Day Jitters

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for reading, but if you are one of those sneaky little readers who reads and doesn't review, I am going to get you! please please let me know what you think, I really want to know! I don't bite, review and I will make sure the Dark Lord saves you. 

Seriously though, thank you to those people who have been reviewing regularly, you guys mean so much to mean I really really appreciate you taking the time to review my story. It's what keeps me going. 

Note: The potion in this chapter is a real potion I didn't just make it up, I looked it up on hp lexicon , hense some of the text, and I was pleasantly surprised at how well it fits in with the story. 

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Ginny woke up to the sound of the other girls in her dormitory getting ready and going through their beautification processes for the first day back at school. 

They were putting hair potion in their hair to make it straight and smooth, and even helping each other pick out their socks. 

This was the last thing Ginny felt like doing. Although she felt great last night when she fell asleep, she had woken up feeling nauseous. 

She let herself sleep a while longer than the other girls, in order to be "late" for breakfast, and have to run to her first class, which was potions. 

It took a huge amount of will power to make her self get out of bed and get dressed that morning. 

She took considerably less time to get ready than the other girls, and threw her uniform on, not caring if her socks matched, and put her long hair up in a ponytail. 

When she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, she discreetly stepped on the scale. 

102 pounds, two pounds more than last time! Maybe walking back and forth to classes in a huge castle would help her drop some more pounds, she thought bitterly. 

Ginny went through her mental to do list in her head.

Skip lunch to go the library for "homework"

While in the library, look through magazines for dieting tips. 

At dinner, eat only vegetables and water, with no sauce or anything. 

Purge if necessary.

Reach 100 pounds again. 

Leaving at the last possible moment before she would be late for potions, she swung her bag onto her shoulder, which was getting too heavy for her weak little frame, and made her way to the dungeons. 

She slid into her seat next to Michael just as Professor Snape had slammed the large door behind them, and closed all the windows with a lazy flick of his wand, leaving them in almost complete darkness. 

"Hey, where were you at breakfast?" Michael asked. 

"Slept too late" Ginny replied nonchalantly. 

Michael was about to reply when he was interrupted by the dreary voice of Professor Snape.

"Today you will be making a beautification potion, a potion to make the drinker more appealing in appearance. Sacharissa Tugwood was an expert at these potions, pioneering their creation and use. The famous Malodora Grymm used this potion to conceal her true form. The instructions are…"

He flicked his wand at the blackboard. "On the board. Begin, you have one hour."

Ginny's mind raced as she opened her bag to get her potions ingredients. It was strangely coincidental that they would be making this potion, when it was just the thing that she could use. 

She squinted at the blackboard and read, _Essence of Belladonna, stir clockwise 3 times, and add bubotuber pus. Shred fluxweed and add only after 20 minutes. _

She could just sneak some into a flask and put it into her bag and Harry could be hers! She would be way prettier than that cow Cho. 

Ginny was usual did very well in potions, and was confident when she started quickly preparing the ingredients and adding them to the potion. 

Several ingredients and an hour later, Snape was walking through the isles in a dark and creepy sort of way. He stopped at Ginny's cauldron and peered inside. 

"Miss Weasley, might I ask why your potion is bright pink when it is meant to be a deep red hue?" (a/n i just had to use the word hue lol)

Ginny flushed and answered, " I-I don't know, sir." 

"Miss Weasley, would you kindly read the third line of instructions outloud?"

Ginny squinted through the potion fumes at the blackboard and read, " Shred fluxweed and add only after 20 minutes."

Ginny's heart plummeted. She had added them right away.

"Miss Weasley, what did you do incorrectly?"

"I added the fluxweed right away instead of waiting twenty minutes" Ginny replied sheepishly.

"Precisely, now as this is of no use, why don't we just dispose of it, yes?" 

Snape cleared away Ginny's entire potion with a swish of his wand. 

Ginny felt hot, angry tears spring up in her eyes as the bell rang. How could she have been so dumb? If she had only thought to read the instructions more carefully, Harry would have been hers. 

The next few morning classes weren't much better than the last. Charms was okay, until Ginny accidentally sent a cauldron right at Professor Flitwick, knocking him over. 

Ginny was relived when it was time for lunch, until she remembered she would not be going into the Great Hall today because she didn't want to tempt her self with any of the delicious food that would shortly be served. 

Instead, Ginny dropped her bag off in her dormitory and headed to the library by herself while every one else was eating. 

She entered discreetly so Madame Pince wouldn't see her and demand why she wasn't eating dinner, and went to the periodicals section, where magazines and newspapers were kept. 

She browsed through many articles of "Witch Weekly", pulling out any thing she could find that looked like dieting articles. 

There were headlines such as _Charm your cellulite away! _And _Amazing New Weight loss Potions! _

Ginny sat down on one of the squishy armchairs and read. It was actually quite relaxing, and she was getting into one interesting article when she spotted two fiery-red heads in the long row of bookshelves. 

It was the twins. "Oh no what do they want?" thought Ginny. 

They spotted her and came over. 

"Hey Gin, what are you doing?" asked Fred. 

"And why are you reading so many witch magazines, what are you, Mum?" added George. 

"Um, nothing", she replied. " Just wasn't hungry for lunch." 

"Ginny we actually came up here to talk to talk to you." said George slowly.

"How did you even know I was here?" replied Ginny

"We didn't, said Fred, " but we noticed you weren't at lunch and went looking for you, we figured it would be a good time to talk to you, while everyone else is eating." 

"What about?" Ginny asked nervously. 

It was George who answered, more serious than characteristic. 

"Ginny, we've been noticing that you haven't been eating very much at all, and you look sick. You've obviously lost weight. We don't want our sister to be that dumb girl with an eating disorder and-

"EATING DISORDER!" Ginny yelled. " I have no such thing! HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST IT! YOU TWO HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT ME AT ALL!" 

"Woah, Gin calm down!" said Fred, trying to sit Ginny back in her chair, as she had gotten up and was trying to hit George. "You've got a problem we want to help you."

Ginny screamed in frustration. Why did they think she had a problem? She was fine!

"I HATE YOU TWO, LEAVE ME ALONE. I HAVE NO PROBLEM!" shrieked Ginny now grabbing magazine and chucking them at her brothers. 

She was losing control, and she had no clue what had made her do it. Deep down, she knew her brothers_were _just trying to help her, but something inside her was making her throw a total fit .

Before she knew it she had started throwing books at them, completely forgetting that she was a witch and could do magic as she continued trying to hit them.

Fred and George were in shock. They would have never expected this out of their little sister and it was Fred who managed to control her. He picked her up around the legs so she was draped off of his shoulder. 

She kicked and hit Fred's back, but she was too tired and weak to break out of her older and much stronger brother's hold. 

Fred just ran out of the library before Madame Pince noticed all the commotion or the complete mess in the periodicals section. 

He didn't let Ginny down until they had reached the Gryffindor common room. She was quite visible to the passerby and it was probably the embarrassment of being carried by her older brother halfway across the castle that caused her to calm down.

Fred let her down on one of the couches in the common room .

"Ginny, we're not idiots. If we don't see you getting better soon, we'll write to Mum" said George.

They left her alone and retreated back out of the common room. 

Ginny ran up to her dormitory and closed the hangings around her bed. 

She knew that they knew what she had been up to, but she had never imagined telling Fred and George of all people. Ginny also knew that if they could threaten writing to their mother, and keep a straight face, then they meant business. 

Ginny thought for a long time as she lay on her bed and cried. 

When she was finished crying, she went to the bathroom to was her face before her next class. She was feeling particularly anxious, so to relieve herself she purged into the toilet.

She didn't want Fred and George to tell their Mum, but she knew she had dug too deep a whole to get out now.

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If you are capable of reading this, your are more than capable of reviewing! 


	7. Crystal Balls and Broom Closets

A/N: Two updates in one weekend! Woo! 

The part where Ginny is sitting at breakfast with Ron and Hermione is a scene I decided to put in while watching OOTP last weekend, because it fit in coincidentally well and I noticed that in the movie Ginny had nothing on her plate (gasp!) 

I also just realized that Michael Corner is in fact, in Ravenclaw and in previous chapters I had him in the same common room as Ginny. Ignore that, from now on he's in Ravenclaw, he'll need to be for later trust me.

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Ginny's first week back was a disaster. She was tired all the time, and she was finding it hard to concentrate on her classes. 

It was harder than Ginny thought it would be to make excuses at mealtimes. After a few days of doing this, her friends were demanding why she wasn't ever in the Great Hall, so she was forced to make regular appearances at meal times in order to keep her friends, as well as Fred and George satisfied.

Did she really think the people around her wouldn't find out?

Friday came as a relief because the week had been long and she was looking forward to spending the weekend curled up in the library reading more magazines. 

At breakfast that morning, she sat next to Ron and Hermione, relieved that Harry wasn't there. Ginny soon wished she hasn't sat next to her brother, as it was nauseating to see him positively shoveling his food in his mouth.

"Do you EVER stop eating?" demanded Hermione

Ron paused. "I'm HUNGRY!" he said defensively. 

Ginny shook her head. "_Leave it to Ron_." She thought, just as the owl post came swooping into the hall. 

A parcel came for Ginny. To her embarrassment, it was a package of sweets from her mother. She quickly scooped it up and ran upstairs to her dormitory with it and was about to throw it away, when she decided against it and hid it underneath her bed, next to her cache of puking pastilles. 

This would be her secret stash in case she couldn't stand fasting any longer, but didn't want to eat in front of anyone. 

From there, she ran up to Divination five minutes early and took the extra time to sit down against the wall below the trap door on the ceiling. Running up all those stairs was a big mistake, as she was immediately winded. 

Much too soon, the other divination students came up and they all headed into the stuffy, heavily perfumed room. 

Ginny sat down on a cushion and to her dismay, was joined by Michael. 

"Hey, Babe, what do you say we go find an empty janitor's closet tonight?"

Ginny was saved from answering by eccentric, bug-eyed Professor Trelawney, who had just come in.

"Welcome to your second year of the wonderful art of Divination, fourth years" she said dreamily. 

"Today, we will be starting on crystal balls!" 

A few girls beside Ginny gasped, excitedly, which really irritated her today for some reason. _What a load of waffle,_ she thought, reminding herself of Ron. 

"Now the art of ball-gazing is an intricate one, few of you will have the gift of visibility. Now divide into pairs, and tell each other what you see."

Ginny sat with Michael.

"What do you see?" she asked, not really caring about the answer. 

"I don't know, oh-wait…what's this? I think it's a closet! One that WE could use!" Michael answered suggestively. 

_How much trouble will I get in for slapping him right now? _Ginny thought. 

" Haha, very funny Michael." 

"Geez, what's up with you lately Ginny? Don't you want to?"

" Yeah, sure, whatever." She answered indifferently, as Trelawney was making her way to the different pairs. 

"My Dear!" she said to Ginny, "Your aura is pulsing! Allow me to look into your ball!" 

She gazed with a vacant expression into the ball, and her expression changed to horrified as she looked up at Ginny. 

"My dear, you are ill. VERY ill. Have you not been well?" 

Ginny tried to remain collected, but she was afraid that Professor Trelawney and Michael could hear her heart thumping. 

"I-I've been fine Professor," she managed, wondering how the stupid glass ball could possibly know. She practically ran from that class as soon as it was over. 

Ginny almost cried in relief by the time the last class, History of Magic got out. She had no excuse to skip dinner, so she entered the great hall with Michael. 

"Crazy about Trelawney today, huh?" Michael asked casually. 

"Yeah, a little too crazy" Ginny replied truthfully. 

There was a big amount of food being served that night. Pork chops and gravy, steak, potatoes, vegetables smothered in sauce, and bread. Lots and lots of carb-tastic bread. Ginny was overwhelmed. 

She picked at a pork chop without any gravy and cut around the fat, leaving barely any meat to actually eat. Then again, that was more or less her intention. 

Michael was on his second plate, when he seemed to finally be full enough.

"Hey, what do you say we get out of here and find that closet?" he asked. He was obviously not giving up. 

Ginny could think of things she'd rather do, but she was too anxious too refuse, she needed something to distract and possibly sooth her, and the smell of so much food was making her sick to her stomach.

They walked through the large doors into the entrance hall. Michael led her to the West Wing of school, where the Divination room was. This wing was the least inhabited by students and faculty, and Professor Trelawney was rarely seen out of her stuffy classroom. Ginny was to tired to even protest as he opened up a closet and pulled her in. 

He pushed her gently against the wall, and cupped her face in his hands as he kissed her hard. His mouth tasted of his dinner, but Ginny minded less and less as her mind slipped into oblivion, free of all the worries that had been on her shoulders for over a month.

Michael's hand ran down from her race, over her breasts, and underneath her shirt. He felt the lace of her bra, which seemed to have gotten too big for her overnight. 

Ginny slowly slid down the wall from a standing position so that she was slouched on the closet floor, against a mop and bucket, with Michael on top of her. With some shame, she stayed like that, enjoying the feeling of Michael's lips moving against hers, and imagined that she was kissing Harry at that moment. 

"Harry's" hands paused at the button of her pants, as if asking permission to unbutton them, she had never let Michael feel down her pants before, but this was Harry right now and besides, the only excitement Ginny had felt lately was the feeling of throwing up into the toilet, so she decided to let him without thinking too much. 

"Go on" she whispered.

He obliged more than willingly and quickly unzipped her pants and slid his hand down, about to go underneath her panties. There were footsteps just outside the door. 

Panicking, he withdrew his hand and Ginny quickly rezipped her pants and stood up. Her heart was pounding as she pressed her ear against the door. There was definitely someone just outside the door, and Ginny prayed it wasn't Filch.

The footsteps were getting closer. 

_Please no. Please no._

There was a turn on the handle. 

_Fuck you, Michael, why did you make me do this?_

Suddenly there was a loud cackling noise.

"FILTHY FILTHY FILCHY!" said a singsong voice. 

_Thank merlin for Peeves, _Ginny thought. 

There was a loud splat outside the door, the sound of Peeves chucking a dungbomb at Filch.

"I'LL BANISH YOU FROM THIS CASTLE IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO! I'M OFF TO FIND THE BLOODY BARON! OH YOU'LL PAY YOU WILL!" roared Filch.

The footsteps went away. When it was quiet again, Ginny opened the door, relieved. 

"Woah, wait! Where are you going?" demanded Michael 

"Leaving." Replied Ginny shortly

"No, come on. Filch is gone, it's fine. Stay, please!" protested Micheal.

"No, I'm gonna go back to my common room" she said, as she stepped out of the closet and made her way down the hall.

Michael followed her complaining until they split in separate directions, to each of their common rooms. Ginny didn't look back, she ran up to her dormitory, closed the hangings, and reached underneath her bed and brought up the box of sweets her Mum had sent her. 

She ate three of the pies that her mother had sent her in one sitting, savoring the flavor and the satisfaction it gave her tastebuds and her stomach. When her stomach was filled to it's capacity, she grabbed a puking pastille, little did they know she had these despite their concern about her weight, bless them, and took it to the bathroom. 

She swallowed it quickly and emptied the unnecessary contents of her stomach into the toilet. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and jumped into bed and almost immediately fell asleep. All in a day's work.

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A/N: You may have noticed Ginny has been a little anti-social at times, this is because in an eating disorder, you tend to get so caught up in it that you stop caring about everything that you used to care about, this is more or less what is happening to Ginny at this point, I think. 

REVIEW AS ALWAYS! DON'T BE A LAZY LUCY! (wtf? haha that was wierd, it's because there's this teacher at my school that everyone makes fun of and she's like "I don't mean to be a Grumpy Gus, I'm just a Sleepy Sue." lmao its so funny. ) 


	8. Autumn in Hogsmeade Village

A/N: This story is getting a lot of hits and stuff, it's obviously not as popular as a lot of stories out there, but for me, it's more than enough and I'm really pleased with the amount of feedback lately so thank you!! Please continue to read and review!

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September turned into October as fast as Ginny was losing weight and her purging habit was rapidly becoming an addiction.

The more weight she lost, the more unsatisfied she felt, instead of the contrary. There were also some nasty side affects that were more than she bargained for.

Her throat was constantly sore from throwing up frequently and she often felt light headed and dizzy.

The first Hogsmeade weekend of the school year came as a reason for excitement for all Hogwarts students except for Ginny. Walking with big crowds all day in increasingly cold weather was the last thing Ginny felt like doing.

She would have been perfectly content to stay behind and curl up in the library while everyone else was out, but unfortunately for Ginny, Hermione had convinced her to meet her, Ron, and Harry for some defense against the dark arts meeting in some pub called the "Hog's Head".

Ginny had to admit, it sounded like a pretty good idea. They could use a proper teacher, what with that old toad Umbridge's teaching, or lack there of more like.

When Michael asked what she would be doing that afternoon, Ginny made the mistake of telling him, but brought him along anyway because he seemed interested enough, she would probably have to spend the day with him anyway.

Ginny and Michael walked along the cobblestoned streets of the picturesque Wizarding Village. It was surprisingly relaxing for Ginny.

The leaves had lost their green color and had turned into the bright colors of fall and the air had that crisp autumn feeling in which you know the sweltering heat of summer was finally gone and you were overjoyed to be outside in the perfect weather before it was too cold. The apples were the best at this time of year, and pumpkins and apple cider were sold on the streets which were decorated in preparation for Halloween. (1)

Ginny didn't plan on eating these things of course, but they made for nice scenery. Ginny groaned as she was pulled into Honeyduke's Sweet shop by Michael.

The whole shop was, as expected, crowded with Hogwarts students stocking up on sweets and candy.

Ginny felt overwhelmed by all the sweets as Michael was already filling up a bag . She poked through the various sweets with very little interest until she noticed a particular sweet in the "For Witches" section.

_Mrs. Maigrir's Magical Weight Loss Chocolate: Shed those extra pounds while still eating our famous homemade chocolate!_

Now, THIS was a sweet Ginny could handle, but she didn't want anyone to see her buying it and she couldn't risk standing in line at the cash register.

The shop was so crowded that she figured no one would see, and she discreetly put the box in her bag and went to find Michael.

"Hey, there you are. Look what I got!" said Michael, pulling out sweets from the bulging bag and showing her all the stuff he bought, which was enough to make Ginny feel sick.

"Hey, let's get out of here." She said in reply, wanting to leave the store before anyone realizing what she'd done.

"Okay. Where to now?" Michael asked.

"Let's find the Hog's Head. It should be nearly time to arrive."

It took them a while before finally finding the shabby, dingy pub. They entered and joined the large party of Hogwarts students.

Ginny halfheartedly accepted a butterbeer from her brother. Fred had practically forced the bottle onto her. She and Michael sat down at the large booth that everyone was gathering around.

Hermione explained about the Defense against the Dark Arts group that they were going to start. Ginny thought it was all a great idea, but she couldn't help but eyeing Cho with dislike, and was especially annoyed when she started praising Harry at all the stuff he had done with the Triwizard tournament last year.

"_Wasn't that her BOYFRIEND that died?" _Ginny though insensitively.

Ginny stopped thinking about that, as she was greatly amused as usual, by Luna, who was trying to convince Hermione that the Ministry had an army of Heliopaths.

Ginny's throat was really hurting her today. It tickled unpleasantly, and she tried to clear her throat loudly, and ended up giving a great impression of Professor Umbridge, causing people to look around in alarm, and then laugh at her.

Ginny was embarrassed and felt her face growing hot. She thought fast and made it sound as though it was intentional.

"Weren't we trying to decide how often we're going to meet and get Defense lessons?" she asked the group, covering her slip up.

The conversation returned to normal, to Ginny's relief, and afterwards she was glad to get rid of Michael, who had gone to join some of his friends, and join her three brothers and Ron and Hermione, and they walked through the covered bridge back to school. ( A/N:OOTP MOVIE REFERENCE)

"It's sort of exciting, breaking the rules." Hermione said uncharacteristically.

"Who are you and what have you done with Hermione?" asked Ron, half laughing.

Ginny had to laugh at this.

"At least we know one positive thing that came out of today" said Hermione, matter of factly.

"What?" asked Harry.

"Cho couldn't take her eyes off you, could she?" asked Hermione, smirking.

Ginny saw Harry give a little smile, and she stopped in her tracks, filled with sudden annoyance and anger.

She said goodbye to her brothers and went up to her dormitory to check out her new weight loss chocolate.

She opened the box and took out a piece of chocolate and popped it into her mouth. It tasted disgusting, definitely not delicious homemade chocolate like the box advertised itself.

Ginny ran to the bathroom, meaning to spit it out into the sink, but instead grabbed her toothbrush, forgetting about puking pastilles, and jabbed it down her throat making her gag and throw up, without giving it a second thought.

The chocolate remained uneaten and forgotten.

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A/N: (1) Growing up in New England has made me in love with Fall, I described Fall as I know it I don't know fall in any other way , so if your from New England somewhere as I am, you'll know just what I was talking about. The whole scene reminds me of Salem, Massachusetts near Halloween, which is kind of like Hogsmeade, with the witches and such.

Also sorry I've been ending every chapter on the same note, Ginny throwing up. Next one will be different I promise. Next up is finding the Room of Requirement and the first DA meetings. What sort of interactions with Harry will she have there? Continue reading to find out!


	9. Puking Times Three

A/N: Hey guys, sorry this one has been long-coming. I'll tell you why if you'd like to know, but if you're not interested; just proceed to the story right now. If you are, then you're awesome and here's why. See, I have been reading Order of the Pheonix again, to refresh my memory on all the times Ginny is in the scene and how I can incorporate it into the story, but soon the story was way far ahead of where I was in the book, so I took a week off to catch up and I've been putting little post-it notes wherever Ginny is mentioned lol. And then, let's just say I started having computer problems, while in reality I got grounded and had my computer taken away. Silly me. Ok Here is the story now.

Some of the Text is from Order of the Pheonix.

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Nothing much changed in Hogwarts over the next couple weeks, except for Ginny who was always losing weight and dealing with numerous side affects to her "little problem". Her fingernails kept breaking, and she could have sworn her normally thick hair hair was thinner.

Ginny was sitting at the Gryffindor table with some friends one morning, who were all eating greedily. Ginny, meanwhile sat at the table with a transfiguration book propped up against the orange juice, so she could "study". Her plate remained clean for the entire breakfast period.

The talk was of Umbridge's latest regime. Ginny listened with feigned interest as her friends discussed the unfathomable prospect of their precious Gobstones club being banned.

As if Ginny cared about this, she was relived when Neville came over and slid into the seat next to her.

"Hey Ginny", Neville whispered, taking note of her friends who surveyed Neville suspiciously, "what do you reckon is going to happen about the er- group?"

"I don't know, but Harry's over there. Shall we ask him?" replied Ginny, who had known exactly where Harry had been sitting for a half hour, and that he was eating cornflakes.

Neville nodded and the two of them headed over to where Harry was already being bombarded by Fred, George, and Dean.

"Did you see it?"

"D'you reckon she knows?"

"What are we going to do?"

"We're going to do it anyway, of course," Harry said quietly."

Ginny smiled. Harry was so brave. It took her a minute to realize that Michael was trying to talk to them from across the hall at the Ravenclaw table.

"I'll tell Michael," said Ginny impatiently, swinging herself off her bench. "The fool, honestly…"

She did mean honestly, she was getting pretty tired of dealing with him. She walked swiftly over to the Ravenclaw table, and sat down next to Michael and Anthony Goldstein. She noticed that Cho was there with that frizzy haired friend of her's.

"Hey, babe!" Michael said.

"Hey, just to let you know, we're still doing the defense group." Ginny said.

"How do you know?" Cho asked coolly.

"Because Harry just told me, that's how."Ginny retorted perplexed by why Cho would have such a cool attitude towards her.

"Is there something going on between the two of you?" Cho asked rudely.

"Hey! She's with me!" Michael butted in.

"Alright calm down, there's nothing going on with me and Harry, Michael's my boyfriend, we're still doing the defense group, and I have to go." Ginny said, as she got up and walked briskly out the large doors.

Did Cho know about her crush on Harry? Why would she have such a mean attitude towards Ginny for no reason? Was she that unlikeable? All this time, she knew Harry fancied her, but she hadn't that that Cho actually like him back. Ginny liked that girl less and less.

0o0o0

Ginny was still upset at dinner time, causing her to binge her way through three meat pies and still have room for treacle tart for pudding. (1)

She noticed she was running low on puking pastilles, as she rummaged through her trunk that evening in search of her little secret weapons.

She grabbed one of the last ones, thinking that she'd knick some more from the twins later, and headed to the bathroom.

When she was finished, she returned to the common room, only to find that sneaking more puking pastilles would be much harder than she thought.

Fred and George were taking it in turns to demonstrate the puking pastilles to a cheering and whooping crowd.

Ginny wanted to go back upstairs and throw up again herself, as she watched Fred vomit spectacularly into a bucket.

Most of the inhabitants of Gryffindor common room laughed and cheered, while Ginny felt a bit mad that they took making themselves vomit so lightly. She didn't feel as though it were anything to laugh at.

Ginny ran into Fred and George the next day in the common room during their break.

"Hey Ginny, come hither, (A/N: lol come hither, sorry.)we're supposed to pass the word along. The defense meeting's tonight in the Room of Requirement" said George.

"What's the room of requirement?" Ginny asked.

"Seventh floor, opposite that tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy being clubbed by those trolls", said Fred, "Anyway, I'm glad we ran into you."

"Why?" Ginny asked suspiciously.

"Did you like our little demonstration last night?"George inquired.

"Yeah, it was really spectacular." Ginny replied sarcastically.

"Well, we noticed _you _won't need any Puking Pastilles" said Fred.

"_Oh shit, they know."_

"W-What do you mean?"

"Merlin, you're skinny as a broomstick Ginny, didn't we tell you to cut that nonsense out and eat like a normal human being?" asked Fred.

"We had to make a whole new batch of puking pastilles for our little demo" said George matter-of-factly, "YOU didn't have anything to do with that did you?"

"Of course not, where would I get any puking pastilles?" Ginny asked.

"I got my eyes on YOU!" Fred said in a half joking sort of way, as he put two fingers to his eyes and then pointed them at Ginny.

"Tell anyone you can find from the group about the meeting." George called, as they walked out the portrait hole.

To Ginny's satisfaction, it was she who found Cho and her curly-haired friend, Marietta in the girls bathroom on the fourth floor.

"Hello, there's a meeting tonight in the Room of Requirement for the defense group. Seventh floor, opposite the tapestry with the trolls."

"How d'you know?" asked Marietta

"Well", Ginny said icily, eyeing Cho, " Harry and I are _very_ well connected."

With that, Ginny smirked and walked haughtily out the door.


	10. Dumbledore's Army and too much Competion

A/N: Hey guys, I wanted to update today for a very serious reason. I would like to put forth my total and complete support for JK Rowling in her law suit against RDR books. (If you don't know, the Hp Lexicon is trying to publish a book and Jo is suing and in a New York City court this week) I know us all, as readers and writers of fanfiction, are well aware that no one should take away what rightfully belongs to JK Rowling. Jo owns everything and anything Harry Potter related, it's a world entirely her own, we just like to play around in it. Fanfiction is meant for purely the enjoyment of reading and writing, but no one should ever try to make a profit off of Jo's work and intelligence. I just want to say how much I stand behind Jo and am eternally grateful for all that she's done for me. I know that Harry Potter has affected my life for the better in many many ways. I can honestly say, that I would not be who I am today without JK Rowling and the Harry Potter series, I can put into words how thankful I am for them. Show your support for Jo, go to Mugglenet and comment in the newstory for JK Rowling's Lawsuit.

Okay, on with the story.

Sorry it's a short one, but hey it came fast!

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Ginny and Neville were wandering without success on the seventh floor across from the troll tapestry, but they couldn't make it open. Ginny didn't want to hurt his feelings, but she knew she should have found a better companion to look for the room of requirement. She and Neville had come to be great friends, despite the fact that she had ditched him at the Yule Ball for Michael.

Just when they were getting frustrated, Dean Thomas came running down the hall.

"Hey! I know how to get in! You just walk by the wall three times and think of what you need."

"How do you know how to get in?" Ginny asked curiously

Dean turned around and looked at her as though he was noticing her for the first time. He hesitated for a moment and looked her up and down smiling mischievously at her.

"No reason, I accidentally let off some filibuster fireworks one time and had to hide from Filch." Dean said sheepishly.

Why had Ginny never realized how good looking Dean was? Perhaps it was because she spent to much time drooling over Harry that she had failed to notice any other fifth year Gryffindor boys.

Ginny gave him a amused little smile and proceeded to open the room of requirement. When the door appeared, she entered first hoping that Dean was watching her from behind.

As more members arrived, they got looked around at the bizarre room and got settled into squashy beanbag chairs. To Ginny's dismay, it was not Harry or Dean who sat next to her, but Michael.

"I think we ought to elect a leader" said Hermione.

"Harry's leader," said Cho at once, looking at Hermione as though she were mad.

Cho was doing nothing for the touchy moods Ginny had been in lately, due to lack of food and stress. The smallest, most insignificant things would put Ginny off.

They started discussing names for the group. Ginny took very little notice, but only nodded at some, looking around to see what Harry thought. However, it really irked her when Cho decided to open her big mouth and put in her input, eying Harry.

"The Defense Association?" said Cho. "The D.A. for short, so nobody knows what we're talking about?"

"Yeah, the D.A.'s good," said Ginny. "Only let's make it stand for Dumbledore's Army because that's the Ministry's worst fear isn't it?"

People laughed appreciatively at this, and Ginny felt immensely satisfied at beating Cho for the second time. She had beat her in the girls' bathroom by pretending that Harry had told her exclusively about the meeting and now with the name. She was on a roll. Soon, they got up and started practicing disarming.

Ginny felt lightheaded and weak as soon as she got up and raised her wand, but was determined not to show it in front of Harry. She whipped her thin wand in the air and yelled "Expelliarmus!" Michael's wand soared out of his grip and Ginny caught it swiftly.

"Wow", Michael said, nodding in approval, "I'm impressed!"

Ginny tossed Michael his wand and he raised it.

"Expelli-! I can't do it", he said lowering his wand, "I don't want to hurt you. You look too er..._delicate_."

"Oh, come _on, _just do it!"

"No, I mean I think it would take you out if I try to disarm you."

Ginny felt pissed off, who was he calling _delicate? _She just disarmed a boy twice her size without a problem. She looked down at her scrawny arms. They were practically skin and bone. All fat that had ever existed there was long-gone.

She wanted to cry, she wanted to be skinny yes, but she didn't want people to treat her as some sort of invalid. Was everyone starting to notice her problem? Did she look scarily skinny? Ginny didn't know the answer to anything.

Harry came over to check how they were doing and told Michael to have a go at disarming Ginny. Reluctantly, he raised his wand and slowly waved it.

"Expelliarmus!" he cried.

There was a flash of red light and Ginny felt a pull in her right arm, but her determination to show Harry and everyone else how powerful she knew she was caused her to resist. She pulled her arm back and gave her wand a quick but powerful wave.

"PROTEGO!" she cried.

Michael was knocked off his feet and flew backwards landing painfully on his back side. He lay groaning on the floor while everyone looked around surprised at Ginny.

"What did I tell you?" George said laughing. "Size is no guarantee of power."

Michael was now recomposing himself as he stood up quickly, his face red, and tried to pretend it hadn't happened.

"Wow Ginny!" said Harry, beaming at her. "Excellent work! That was really…Ginny?"

Ginny was chalk-white and swaying on the spot. Her usually warm brown eyes were hazy and unfocused. Harry ran forward and caught underneath the armpits, just before she passed out.

A/N: GOOGLY GOOGLY GOSH! What's gonna happen?! Well, there's that Harry interaction that some people wanted…well the actual interaction will be coming up in the next one! REVIEW!


	11. A Defiant Cry for Help

A/N: Hey guys, just to let you know I won't be updating until the week after next because I'm going on vacation to Florida and don't think I'll have a computer.

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Ginny could hear voices whispering around her. Where was she? Couldn't those voices shut up a bit?

She opened her eyes to see her three brothers, Harry and Hermione gathered around her. She was in the hospital wing.

"Hey! Look who decided to grace us with her presence!" Fred shouted.

"Shut it!" Ginny growled. "What happened?"

"You passed out." said Harry, "None of us really knew what happened, actually."

"First you were kicking Michael's ass and then you just _collaspsed." _said Fred.

"How long has it been?"

"Almost twenty-four hours now!" said George "We thought you were going to kick it!"

"Out!" screamed Madam Pomfrey, "She needs her rest!"

"She's been resting this entire time!" Ron retorted, as they were ushered out of the hospital wing, and Ginny was left alone.

Madam Pomfrey immediately brought her a dinner tray.

"_JUST what I need right now" _Ginny thought bitterly, playing with her bread.

"Miss Weasley, could you tell me exactly what you were doing when you collapsed?" Madame Pomfrey asked.

Ginny thought fast.

"I was practicing summoning charms for Professor Flitwick, and I –uh tired my self out a bit."

"REALLY NOW? That sort of thing certainly would not knock you out for a full day. You're awfully thin. Have you been eating right?"

"Course I have" said Ginny, fearing that Madame Pomfrey could hear her rapidly beating heart and taking a big bite of her bread to show her how well she ate.

"Very well, when you are finished eating you may leave. Be warned! Any more incidents like this and we will have to take further action, perhaps put you on a diet plan and yes, contact your'e parents.!

"Mhmm" said Ginny, her mouth now full of chicken soup.

_Shit. _Would they really contact her parents? Her poor Mum wouldn't be able to handle that, she had always worked so hard to make sure that there was food on the table for her children, despite them not having much money. She did a wonderful job, Ginny had always had more than enough food...and she didn't even appreciate it. Her father wouldn't take it well either that this was happening to his only little girl, the one he would give the last cookie too when her brothers teased her. She was a Daddy's girl and it broke her heart to think of him, working so hard to provide for their massive family.

When she finished eating, she changed, swung her much too heavy bag on her tiny shoulder and walked briskly out the door and down the corridor to the girl's lavatory. It was empty as almost everyone was at dinner.

She closed the door of one of the stalls and took a puking pastille out of her bag and swallowed it whole. She gagged revisited her sad little dinner. She took a sip of water from the sink, to get the taste out of her mouth.

When she was finished, she headed to Gryffindor tower and expected to find the common room empty. She climbed through the portrait whole and of all people, saw Harry.

He was sitting in one of the big squishy arm-chairs near the fire, looking deep in thought. He didn't notice her until she sat down across from him.

"Ginny! How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Why aren't you at dinner?"

Harry looked at her for a minute with inquisitive eyes.

"I was so worried about you, I wouldn't be able to bear it if you got hurt or something and it was my entire fault. I don't know if we should have gone on with the meeting."

_"Typical Harry" _Ginny thought.

Ginny couldn't help but thinking that in a way, it _was _Harry's fault. He's the one who didn't like her, he's the one she pukes her guts out every night for, the one she starves herself, steals from her brothers, and lies for.

Hot tears filled Ginny's eyes. How could she have sunk this low?

She discreetly wiped the tears with the back of her hand and got up from her chair.

"It's not your fault Harry, believe me it's all mine!" said Ginny, running out of the portrait hole, leaving a bewildered Harry alone in his chair.

When she was outside of the common room she gave a small sob and set off for the owlery. She was so flustered by the time she got there that she wrenched open the door and slammed it behind her, causing several large owls to flutter their wings angrily and fly out the open windows.

She sat down against the wall and retrieved a quill, ink, and parchment from her bag. She pondered for a minute what she would say, or more importantly, who she would say it _to. _

She made up her mind and started to write;

_Dear Bill,_

_I'm sorry I haven't written to you much this year, I've been quite busy. I'm actually writing to you today for a pretty serious reason. I think I'm choosing to tell you of all people, because I know that you, especially out of the family, would be the most understanding and the least likely to judge me…because the last thing I need right now is to be judged.  
_

_I know you will be worried about me, but here goes; I think I may have an eating disorder. I haven't been eating much at all, and when I do eat, I can't stop making myself throw up. Fred and George have noticed that I've gotten thinner and they've threatened to tell Mum, but please don't tell Mum Bill. Mum will lose her marbles, you know that. What I do need is advice, so that I can get better. I'm scared Bill, and out of all my brothers you're always the nicest to me so please don't be mad at me, I need my big brother to help me out._

_Love, Ginny._

Wiping a tear from her eye, Ginny stood up and rolled up the scroll of parchment. She began browsing the remaining owls, looking for a reliable one, when none other than Cho Chang came barging in.

Ginny looked around and immediately felt her heart beat faster.

"Hey Ginny,didn't mean to bother you, but it's my mum's birthday andI've got to send her a present." Cho said .

"That's nice." Ginny said politely.

Cho looked especially pretty that morning. She long dark hair was flawless and swept back into a smooth low ponytail. Her natural looking face was bright and there wasn't a blemish in sight on her porcelain skin.

Ginny knew that she didn't look quite so radiant herself. She hadn't washed or worn makeup on her face for about two days since she had been in the hospital wing for the last twenty four hours, and her fiery hair was tangled and brittle.

Any confidence that Ginny had for herself over Cho was eradicated. Of course Harry would choose Cho. She turned to leave, sticking the letter back into her bag to be mailed another time. She still wasn't satisfied that she was beautiful. She would send Bill the letter when things got _really _desperate. Ginny wasn't finished.

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A/N : PLEASE KEEP IT UP WITH THE REVIEWS!

They make me smile!


	12. Gryffindor's New Seeker

A/N: Hey, I made it an entire week with no computer! Who knew I had it in me? Sorry for the wait, here's the next chapter! It's just this one and then we're on to Christmas break and the snake attack thing.

**IMPORTANT****: **I'm contemplating whether or not this fic should stop sometime during the summer before half blood prince or follow through half blood prince until Ginny finally actually gets Harry. Please let me know what you think but please don't say make it go through half blood prince just to make the story longer, please consider what would actually be BETTER for the story. LET ME KNOW IN THE REVIEWS!

(some of the text is borrowed from OOTP ch. 19. Said lines belong only to the lovely JK Rowling.)

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The D.A. meetings continued, and Ginny actually managed to get through the next few without seriously injuring herself or anybody else, which was a major accomplishment.

As Ginny lost weight, her body had increasingly more trouble generating body heat. She was always cold and so was the weather now, which was not a good combination for Ginny.

It was with tremendous effort that Hermione managed to coax Ginny into going outside in the bitter cold wind to watch the first Quidditch match of the season.

Ginny normally loved Quidditch. Most of her brothers were excellent Quidditch players. They would always practice during the summer holidays, but they didn't let Ginny play once. She never forgot that.

In fact, the strongest memories she had of her early childhood were of her six-year old self sneaking into the broom shed at the Burrow and practicing on her brothers' broomsticks when they went inside. She told her self that one day, she was going to be better than all of her brothers.

These days, she just didn't feel up to it. The thought of Ron, who had just been made Gryffindor keeper, on a broom in front of the entire school was enough to finally persuade Ginny to go to the match. She knew Ron much too well and was certain that his nerves would get the best of him and make for some comedy that Ginny seriously needed.

On the morning of the match, Hermione and Ginny sat down across from Ron and Harry at the Gryffindor table. Hermione was wearing just a red and gold scarf and a Gryffindor rosette.

Ginny however, had put on a huge woolly hat along with two scarves layered on top of her puffy winter jacket. She wore two gloves on each hand. She also made Hermione conjure up one of her portable fires to put in by their feet once they were in the stands.

"How're you feeling?" Ginny asked Ron, who was staring green-faced into his cereal.

"He's just nervous" said Harry.

Ginny had wanted to start a conversation with Harry, when Luna walked dreamily over from the Ravenclaw table. She was sporting a huge lion head that roared loudly as she told them that she was supporting Gryffindor. (As if the fact were not already obvious.)

When she drifted away, Ginny had to laugh with Hermione as Harry and Ron were taken away by Angelina. She had to admit, it felt good to laugh.

Ginny ended up having a good time for the first part of the match. Hermione's fire kept her relatively warm and she couldn't help but giggle with Hermione every time Ron failed to save a goal. Of course, they would never tell him this.

Ginny felt her face flush with anger when the Slytherins started the first chorus of, "Weasley is Our King". Hermione looked at her and shook her head, silently telling Ginny to ignore it.

How could Ginny ignore it? It made Ginny so mad that she could even speak about it. Hearing those words about her family made her self esteem go, if possible, even lower. Sure he deserved it, but it did not help when Harry and George, her own brother, beating Malfoy to a pulp at the end of the match. She was embarrassed by their actions and for the first time in her life, ashamed to be a Weasley.

* * *

"Banned", said Angelina in a hollow voice, late that evening in the common room. "_Banned_. No seeker and no beaters…What on earth are we going to do?"

"It's just so unfair," said Alicia numbly. "I mean what about Crabbe and that Bludger he hit after the whistle had been blown? Has she banned _him_?"

"No, "said Ginny miserably; she and Hermione were sitting on either side of Harry. "He just got lines, I heard Montague laughing about it at dinner."

Everyone began heading to bed after that. Ginny was finally left alone in the common room with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. As she sat in her squashy arm-chair staring at the fire, she had an epiphany.

Angelina needed new players. What if _she _was the new Gryffindor seeker? It was a possibility that Ginny had never thought could happen. Her brothers had always overshadowed her when it came to Quidditch. Who would expect little Ginny Weasley to play for Gryffindor after the great Charlie Weasley or the twins?

Ginny knew that she was in a very fragile state to play Quidditch, but she wasn't going to let that stop her from doing something she had wanted since she was six years old.

She thought about it all night, even when she was lying in her four-poster. The more she dreamt about it, the more she wanted to be the one to catch the golden snitch to roaring applause from the entire Gryffindor house.

The next morning, she managed to catch Angelina on the way to breakfast, hand in hand with Fred.

"Hey Angelina could I ask you something?" Ginny asked, ignoring a weird look from her brother.

"Yeah, sure Ginny what's up?" she replied, releasing herself from Fred to walk with Ginny.

Ginny suddenly felt very awkward that she was asking her brother's girlfriend who was also the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team if she could be her seeker.

"I-um, well I know you need a new seeker, and my brothers don't know this, but I've been flying for a long time and I was wondering if you would consider letting me play?" she asked quickly.

Angelina was more much more enthusiastic than Ginny had been expecting to be. She seemed like such an intimidating person when you first met her. She was tall and beautiful and amazing at Quidditch.

"Of course! You only come from one of the best families of Quidditch players in Hogwarts history! I'd love for you to play! Come to the Quidditch pitch on Saturday morning, I'm having a little try-out session. In fact, I'll walk you down. Just meet me in the common room!"

"Okay! Just please don't tell my brothers yet!" said Ginny, surprised at how nice Angelina actually was.

Angelina nodded and winked at her as she rejoined Fred.

* * *

Saturday morning came faster than Ginny would have liked. She ended up telling Ron that she was planning on trying out so that she could borrow his broom until she could somehow aquire her own. If she made the team, that is.

Ron seemed like he approved of Ginny playing Quidditch. ( "You should just take _my _spot," he had said gloomily.)

She was a pile of nerves. She wanted to badly to prove herself. Of what, she wasn't sure. Did she want to prove that she was as strong as her brothers?, That the only female Weasley could play Quidditch too? Maybe she just wanted to prove that she still _was _strong and not the weak little anorexic girl that she had become.

She was still partly in denial.

Ginny went down to breakfast extra early that morning, so that she could fuel her body temporarily on carbohydrates and protein.

She greedily devoured a whole stack of toast and an entire plate of bacon, washed down with a huge glass of pumpkin juice. She had to make sure she at least had energy for Quidditch. She could get rid of it in the toilet later.

Back in the common room, Angelina spotted her.

"Ready?" she asked, smiling at Ginny.

Ginny nodded and followed Angelina, who was about a head taller than her, to the Quidditch Pitch.

Angelina timed Ginny and the other potential seekers on how fast they could find and catch the snitch. Ginny was too nervous to watch the others, but she was feeling confident. She spotted the snitch almost immediately and caught it with surprising speed when she pulled into a spectacular dive. There were some advantages to being so small. She zipped through the air faster than anyone else. She couldn't however, stop thinking about how she had to throw up and get ride of the calories digesting in her stomach that very moment.

She wanted to go and vomit but Angelina took her aside.

"Congratulations," she said quietly, "You're my new seeker."

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A/N: LETS MAKE IT 100 REVIEWS!


	13. Running, Mistletoe, and the Snake

A/N: wow, where to start? So I know I kept you guys waiting for a long time now and I feel very badly for it, I promise you. The reason I couldn't update was because my computer found viruses or something and I had to bring it in to get fixed at Geek Squad haha they do make me laugh, but anyway it took a really long time and I was stuck using the family computer ugh! It was horrible I missed my computer so much, it's like my child. ok enough of my terrible computer-less week. here's the next chapter, and the one after this will come really quick I promise because I really missed writing.

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Ginny was flying, and in every sense of the word. For the first time in weeks, she actually felt alive. She had no heavy burdens on her shoulder when she was flying, it was as though nothing else mattered but Ginny and her broom.

When Mr. Weasley had heard the news that Ginny had been made seeker, he was obviously delighted that his had sent his only daughter Charlie's old cleansweep from home. She soared joyfully around the Quidditch pitch, elated by the feeling of flying fifty feet in the air, and enjoying the sound of wind whizzing past her ears.

As the team practiced, she saw Fred and George out of her peripheral vision staring at her from the stands, checking out the new players. Ginny knew how much they would miss Quidditch, but she didn't care. She had proved them wrong about her Quidditch skills. She was finally proving that she was more than a pretty face and an extremely thin body.

She had a ritual that she performed before every training session. At breakfast, she would load up her plate with toast, bacon, and eggs and eat as much as her stomach would hold before she had to go to training. Sometimes it made her feel a little sick, but it always gave her enough energy for flying.

Ginny could now fly as faster than she ever remembered flying. Since she weighed practically nothing now, she could zip easily through the other players and catch the snitch with surprising speed.

After training, she left the showers early to sneak back to her dormitory and make good use of the small stash of the twins' puking pastilles she had left.

Afterwards, she felt completely cleansed and refreshed. She just spent the last two hours burning off the calories from her "pre-training binging sessions". Whatever was left, she purged with gusto. She was clean now. It was a fresh start.

Later that evening, Ginny headed down with Michael to the last D.A. meeting before Christmas break. Ginny excelled at the Impediment jinx, which gave her another oppurtunity to curse Micheal, which was always fun.

She felt as though nothing could spoil this perfect day, but then _she_ happened. Cho Chang. The love of her life-stealing, manipulative, plastic little Cho. Ginny had felt the courage to wish Harry a Merry Christmas, but unfortunately for Ginny, Harry didn't even reply back because he was too preoccupied with leering after Cho, who for absolutely no reason known to Ginny, was sobbing silently.

Ginny flushed, and hurried out the door without looking back at Harry. It was only then, when she was already walking aimlessly past the common room, not going in for some reason, that Ginny realised how stupid she must have sounded. Why would she, Ginny, wish Harry a Merry Christmas? Wasn't he going to be staying the Burrow for Christmas? Ginny was dreading that, she would surely make a fool out of herself over Christmas break and she was getting very anxious to see her parents. She felt sure they would notice that she was much thinner than when they last saw her.

Ginny groaned and cursed herself for another stupid mistake made on her part, and kept walking. Somehow, she found herself at the Quidditch pitch.

She had not remembered her broom so she impulsively started running. She sprinted around and around the vast Quittich pitch and with each lap, she freed herself more. Not only from what little body fat she had left, but freed herself mentally, if not only temporarily, from her fears, her anxiety, and her self dislike. The more exhaused Ginny became, the easier it was to forget these things.

She finally wore herself out and collapsed on the cold, dewy grass. The cold night air stung as she gulped it down, trying to catch her breath.

When Ginny thought back on this night, she would never know how she managed to get back to her warm four poster with both the risks of being caught out of bed after hours or just plain passing out right there on the moving stairs from weakness and exhaustion, but she did.

She slowly trudged across the common room, and noticed that Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting by the fire. Ginny only heard one thing, and it was said by Hermione.

"I'm sure Harry's kissing was more than satisfactory," she said matter of factly.

So Harry and Cho had kissed. Great. Normally, this would have made Ginny more upset but she was too exhausted for this to phase her anymore. All she remembered was clamboring into her warm bed and falling asleep within seconds.

What seemed like mere minutes later, Ginny felt a warm, yet unfamiliar hand on her bony shoulder, rousing her awake. Her eyes snapped open to see Professor McGonnagall over her. Ginny didn't even think to be scared of what could be wrong, she was too bewildered about how bizarre it was to see her transfiguration teacher with her hair down, in a night dress, and in her dormitory of all places.

"Professor?" Ginny asked sleepily.

"You must come to the headmaster's office Miss Weasley, your father has been gravely injured."

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I know I made you guys wait a long time, but please review!

I know this was a short chapter, but the next one will be the start of Christmas break and it'll be longer. It'll also come quick, I promise.


	14. Grimmauld Place and St Mungo's

A/N: New chapter, as promised:) I tried to do it this past week, but I was just too busy with school and under stuff and last night I was having a social life.

**The Bad news:** Finals are in one week, so this week in school and next weekend I may not update for studying reasons.  
**The Good news:** In two weeks, it's summer!! So, I'll have way way more time to write and you'll get WAY more updates. My goal will be to udpate a few times a week! I want to finish Boys, Drama, and Eating Disorders this summer.

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Ginny stumbled out of bed and put on her green lace dressing gown. In the common room, Fred and George were already waiting for them, also in dressing gowns and looking uncharacteristically pale and scared.

The three Weasleys followed Professor McGonagall through the cold and empty corriders until they reached the entrance to Dumbledore's Office. Ginny was shivering. The fear was now creeping through her rapidly. She clung to George, gripping his arm tightly.

When they reached the office, they found Ron and Harry already talking to Professor Dumbledore.

"Harry-what's going on?" asked Ginny. "Professor McGonagall says you saw Dad hurt-"

Dumbledore spoke before Harry could. He explained to them that their Dad had been injured during his work for the Order, and that they were going by portkey to Sirius's house. They were going to meet their mum there.

As much as Ginny understood that this wasn't about herself, she was dreading seeing her mum. Surely she would fret and baby her when she saw how thin Ginny had gotten. The prospect of having to confess her secret was nauseating her. They would be going back to Grimmauld Place, the horrible house where this illness had all started. She wanted to vomit. How would she survive a whole week with her family and still keep her secret. How would she hide her food from her mother and her puking pastilles from the twins?

They all grabbed onto the portkey and Ginny landed with a painful thud on the floor at Grimmauld Place. It knocked all the wind out of her small and fragile body. Sirius evidently must have seen her painful landing, and reached out a hand to help her up.

"What's going on?", he said. "Phineas Nigellus said Arthur's been badly injured-"

"Ask Harry," said Fred.

Ginny and the twins stared at Harry, waiting for an explanation. Ginny was in pure shock. How could Harry have something do with this? The thought was ridiculous. Ginny knew Harry was different, he experienced things that they couldn't imagine, but that didn't stop how she felt.

She felt a lump rise in her throat. For the first time, it sunk in that her Dad may not be okay. What if she never saw him again, or hugged him again. How could she bare it if her Dad didn't walk her down the isle at her wedding? Worst of all, she thought with enourmous guilt what would happen if he never saw his only daughter healthy again.

Harry told them something about a snake attacking their dad. How could _that_ have happened? The three of them stared at him for a moment before Fred asked Sirius if their mother was here. She wasn't. She did not even know what had happened yet.

"We've got to go to St. Mungo's." Ginny said urgently. She wanted to see her Dad more than any of them would understand. "Sirius, can you lend us cloaks or anything-?"

"Hang on, you can't go tearing off to St Mungo's!" said Sirius.

The twins argued furiously with Sirius for a while and Ginny shared a sallow look with Ron, who was white faced and had said nothing. After finally accepting defeat, they all sat down around the grimy table. Ginny was the firsd at one to sit down. She said nothing for the rest of the night. Sirius gave them all butterbeer, which Ginny could not bring herself to drink. Her stomach was already naseous from her fear and anxiousness, she did not need to feel fat either.

They sat there for an excruciatingly long time. Ginny curled up in her chair like a cat, and stared at the floor. She mostly thought about her Dad how he used to play tea party with her and call her princess. He had taught her how to fly when she was five and her brothers weren't there. She felt as though if he didn't make it, she would have let him down.

At around five in the morning, Mrs. Weasley finally came in, looking exhausted and pale. She smiled at them and told them he was alright and that they would be able to see him later that day.

Ginny almost cried when she saw her mum. She forgot about anything she was nervous about before, and got up and hugged her Mum. Mrs. Weasley hugged her back with one arm and kissed her hair. With her other arm, she was sqeezing George tightly. Ginny was glad her Mum had more important things to think about than her weight. Maybe everything would be alright this week.

Ginny had to help make breakfast. The smell alone gave her the urge to throw up. She knew this wasn't normal, but she couldn't think about that now. She was too anxious to see her father.

She pushed her food around her plate with her fork. Evidently, no one thought it was suspiscious as they probably assumed she was just nervous and emotionally strained from the long night.

After breakfast, they all took a long nap before they left for the hospital. Ginny was delighted at having her own room for the first time since last June. Over the summer, she had to share that bedroom with Hermione, and during school, she shared a room with four other girls. She fell eagerly into bed and surpisingly, she slept.

0o0ooo0

When Ginny woke up, she put on a big sweatshirt to go to the hospital in. This would easily conceal her skinny-self to her family. The last thing she wanted to do was give her family more to worry about her. She wasn't fine, but she convinced her self that she was.

They made their way across London to the entrace to St. Mungo's. When Ginny saw Mr. Weasley she rushed forward to give him a hug. She felt extremely relieved that he was okay. She still had time to perfect herself and then get better for him.

They all sat around his bed and talked for a while until they were kicked out by the rest of the order, and forced to listen in on their conversation by extendable ears.

Ginny wasn't really all that intersted in their conversation, except for one thing said by Moody.

"Obviously, Potter doesn't realise what that means, but if You-Know-Who's posessing him-".

0o0o0

Back at Sirius's house, Harry hid from them for the rest of the day. Ginny couldn't help but be completely annoyed by him. How could be so ignorant? Ginny had been posessed by You-Know-Who in her first year. How could he have forgotten that? He had saved her from a sixty foot long snake for Merlin's sake. Did he really care that little about her?

Hermione came for Christmas that day. Ginny was surpised, but glad to see her. Hermione always made her feel better, but Hermione was very clever. Sometimes, Ginny could tell that Hermione was figuring out her secret. Ginny wouldn't put it past her. She was going to have to be extra careful this week.

Hermione convinced them to all go and speak to Harry.

"We wanted to talk TO YOU, Harry," Ginny had said, "but as you've been hiding ever since we got back-

"I didn't want anyone to talk to me," said Harry.

"Well, that was a bit stupid of you," said Ginny angrily, "seeing as you don't know anyone but me who's been possessed by You-Know-Who, and I can tell you how it feels."

There was silence.

"I forgot," he said.

"Lucky you," said Ginny coolly.

Ginny ended up forgiving him a bit. She explained to him that he was not possessed like she had been, and he seemed to be grateful.

Everyone helped put up decorations on Christmas Eve that night. Ginny had no excuse to not eat dinner that night, so she ate some salad and a little bit of chicken. She had to admit that it was nice to spend this time with her family. Whenever she was at school, she forgot how nice it was to have her brothers there at the table with her for dinner, instead of them each sitting with their own friends. Afterwards, she relieved all of the stresses of the day into the toilet in the bathroom that she and Hermione shared.

When she returned to the bedroom, Hermione was there and Ginny had a flashback of that past summer when Hermione noticed that she was thin.

"Ginny, I know what you've been hiding."

0oo0

Only FOUR reviews last chapter? Come on guys, they make me so happy. Your positive feedback is what keeps me writing. Without the reviews, I wouldn't even be sitting here writing this, what would be the point if I didn't know that people were enjoying it?

**Long chapter-Reward with REVIEWS!!**


	15. Big Brother, Pie, and Helplessness

A/N: Wohoo I wrote another chapter before finals! This is kind of a filler chapter, but it was necessary. Thanks for all the great reviews last time, you guys are amazing and I wouldn't be doing this without you! Keep it up!

0o0o0o0o

Ginny's heart was pounding. She was sure she would give herself away just by Hermione hearing her heart pound as though trying to escape her chest.

"Y-You know what I've been _hiding_?" Ginny asked Hermione warily. "What do you mean?"

"Oh come on Ginny, I'm not stupid. Did you not think it was obvious?"

"WHAT'S obvious?"

"You still have a thing for Harry!" Hermione exclaimed gleefully. "You were staring at him all evening!"

Ginny felt the relief wash over her, but she still wanted to slap the smirk off Hermione's face. Still, this was better than Ginny's _other _problem.

Ginny took a deep breath. "'Mione, really I gave up on him ages ago."

Hermione added raised eyebrows to her smirk that irked Ginny unbelievably. "Ginny-"

"-No. Stop Hermione. Really, I did. Besides, it's Christmas Eve and I don't want to think about this right now."

"Alright, fine," said Hermione curtly and got into bed.

Ginny got into her pajamas and got into bed too, but by the time she heard Hermione's slow breathing, she was still tossing and turning. Ginny swung her blankets off of her and put on her slippers. Quietly, she opened the door and crept down to the kitchen.

She grabbed a fork and ripped the tinfoil off of the half eaten pie her mother had made for after their Christmas Eve dinner, and sat down on top of the long table and starting shoveling it into her mouth.

Ginny had eaten a good quarter of the blueberry pie when she heard someone entering the front door from outside. Startled, Ginny dropped her fork and hopped down from the table and peered cautiously at the front door.

"_PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE SNAPE, PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE SNAPE_!" she thought repeatedly.

To Ginny's relief, a tall and gangly red-head with long hair and a fang for an earring came through the door, looking tired having spent the whole night at his father's bedside.

"Bill!" Ginny squealed, running at him and throwing her arms around his waist.

"Hey Ginny!" he replied surprised to see his little sister at this time of night. "How have you been?" he said, hugging her back.

"Alright," she replied, now leading Bill into the kitchen. "Have you come to stay for Christmas?!"

"Yep, I'm here for the rest of your break."

"How's Dad?"

"Better. He..." Bill trailed off, "Ginny you look different from the last time I saw you."

"Do I?" Ginny asked innocently.

"I can't put my finger on it, but something is _definitely_ different. Are you skinnier or something?"

"Uh, are you sure it isn't just my hair or something?" Ginny asked Bill. She was an expert at diseaving all of her brothers.

"Yeah...Maybe. Anyway, I'm exhausted, Night Gin," he said, ruffling her hair.

"Night."

Ginny was exhausted too, but she couldn't go to bed with that pie nagging on her. She didn't have any puking pastilles left and she didn't even know if the twins had brought any. She was starting to panic a little bit. She would have to do it the old fashioned way.

Ginny shut the bathroom door softly, and stuck her finger down her throat...far. She started to gag a little bit as she choked on her hand, so she jabbed it forcefully down until something came up. She did this four times before she felt completely cleansed. Sometimes, once wasn't enough for her anymore. It was becoming an uncontrollable obsession.

She noticed something in the corner of the bathroom, a scale. They didn't have one in their dormitory at Hogwarts. It looked so beautiful and yet terrifying, just waiting to taunt her.

She realised that she didn't even know her own weight anymore. She LOOKED skinnier sure, but the actual number was a mystery. It could be anything and Ginny was sort of scared to know either how high or how scarily low that number could be. Eating disorders played terrible tricks on your self image.

She stepped on warily and waited for the little hand to stop. It took a surprisingly short time.

88 pounds. That was twenty-two pounds less than when she started this ridiculousness.

Ginny was shocked, but had she really not expected this? She was supposed to stop at one hundred pounds, she recalled. Twenty-two pounds is a LARGE amount of fat and muscle to lose. (A/N: When you're anorexic, you're body eats up all your fat, and when it has no more fat to eat, your body will start to digest your muscle. and muscle wieghs alot more than fat if you didn't know.)

Ginny was sobbing. She completely broke down. To the normal person, it should have been obvious that her behavior was rediculous but to her, she was just realising it. Sure she _wanted_ to stop, but it's not that easy. On top of that, she couldn't tell anyone, or atleast she didn't know HOW to tell anyone.

Ginny had probably got away with her weight all this time by wearing long robes at school, but at home she wore muggle clothes. Someone was GOING to notice, that was inevitable. She vowed to only wear sweatshirts until she got back to school. She wanted help deep down, but wasn't ready to confess. There had to be a time and a place, and the Christmas where her Dad got attacked by a snake and her family was spending Christmas in an old, gloomy house was not it.

Ginny had never felt more helpless in her entire life. It was like being lost out in the middle of nowhere, outside of all civilization. She needed help but no one could hear her scream.

0oo0o0

haha twist in the beginning of this chapter huh? I know I'm evil, I know. It was quite fun actually... please don't hate me though Ginny WILL get help eventually I PROMISE TIMES ONE HUNDRED!

**IMPORTANT I'M TAKING SUGGESTIONS!** I'm only going to do this once, but I am taking suggestions for anything you want added in the rest of the story. I recently got viruses on my computer and lost my outline of the fic. I know how the fic goes and how it ends, but I need some ideas for the next few chapters or else there might be a big gap in the timeline thing I've got going on. If there's anything you want to see from Order of the Pheonix in the fic, let me know in the reviews and I'll put them in the story. I'll take anything and probably put it in, but just know I stay canon and I won't put it in if its completely ridiculous or stupid, just stuff that was in the books that you want seen or other realistic suggestions.

Keep up the Reviews!


	16. Christmas Time in Grimmauld Place

When Ginny was younger, there was nothing she enjoyed more than Christmas. She used to love the snow, the presents, the family togetherness, and she even loved getting Weasley jumpers.

This Christmas, Ginny woke up feeling miserable. Her Weasley jumper would be huge on her, she wouldn't be getting any presents that she REALLY wanted such as being beautiful or getting the boy she likes, and they were in a gloomy old house while their Dad was still in the hospital.

Hermione was already getting up and opening her stack of presents.

"Merry Christmas Ginny!" she said when she saw that Ginny was getting out of bed.

"Merry Christmas, Hermione."

Without any real interest, Ginny opened her own pile of Christmas presents. It consisted of the usual jumper and sweets from her parents, as well as small gifts from her friends and chocolates from Michael, which she would leave out for her brothers to finish off.

Ginny unenthusiastically pulled her dark purple Weasley sweater over her pajamas. Thankfully, it was thick enough to make her body look normally proportioned. She and Hermione went downstairs together to breakfast, or in Ginny's case, sitting at the table and pretending to eat while everyone else ate breakfast.

It _almost_ felt like Christmas. Her entire family minus Charlie and their father was at the table and greeted her with a genuine "Merry Christmas" when she sat down. The house had been decorated elaborately by Sirius who was overjoyed at having company to celebrate with.

Christmas breakfast consisted of eggs, bacon, sausages, and toast. Before she could protest, her Mum was piling food on to her plate. She allowed herself to eat it, a sad little Christmas present to herself. She talked, and even laughed a bit with her family.

The Weasleys, Harry, Hermione, and Sirius spent the rest of Christmas morning hanging around in the room eating sweets, exchanging a few gifts, sitting by the fire, and playing wizard chess. Around mid morning, Ginny made excused herself, saying she was going to shower.

She did want to shower, but first she took this opportunity while everyone else was downstairs to sneak into the twins room to replenish her stash of a certain skiving snackbox. These were the twins after all, they brought their products and pranks _everywhere_. Their motto was expect the unexpected, who knows when it would be time for a good prank, right?

Ginny quietly opened the door to the twins' small bedroom and started searching through their trunks until she finally found a small orange box underneath Fred's clothes. She opened it up and poked through the sweets, picking out the ones she knew were puking pastilles.

Once safely inside her room, she hid them once again in her trunk. _"Bless them"_, she thought.

She took a single one into the bathroom and made good use of it while the shower was running to block noise and then pulled off her jumper and pajamas and stepped into the hot, steamy shower.

Afterwards, she put on her jeans that were now too big around the waste and a thick sweatshirt. She found a belt in Ron and Harry's room and pulled it as tight as it would go around her jeans and then pulled the sweatshirt over it so it couldn't be seen. She made a mental note to herself to shrink her jeans magically as soon as she got back to school.

After a quick Christmas lunch, (did this family _ever_ stop eating?) they all went to visit their dad at the hospital. They all went to the hospital after to visit Arthur escorted by Mad-Eye and Lupin. They all piled into the car "borrowed" by Mundungus.

Not too long after they all greeted their dad, they all the left the room when Molly started shrieking at Arthur about "Muggle remedies".

"Typical Dad," said Ginny, shaking her head as they set off up the corrider. "Stitches...I ask you..."

They had a fairly unusual yet eventful Christmas. Professor Lockhart, it transpired was now permanently in St. Mungo's because Ron's wand had eradicated his memory in the Chamber of Secrets. Ginny and Hermione giggled as he asked them if they wanted signed pictures.

On a less funny note, they ran into Neville who Ginny was close friends with. Ginny had been Neville's date for the Yule Ball, after all.

Ginny and others learned for the first time what had happened to Neville's parents. Ginny felt truly sorry for Neville, she wanted to cry. All of her problems seemed so trivial, so frivolous compared to the problems of Neville, or even Harry as well. Ginny had started to comprehend just how difficult every day life must be for Harry and Neville.

Harry and Neville never complained, even though their lives were and had always been one hundred times more difficult than Ginny's was and here was she, standing here, a shallow and selfish little girl, too ignorant to think of anyone but herself lately.

0o0o00o

Ginny's empathy for Neville changed her a little bit that day. She decided that maybe this was time to confess to her mother, and stop this for good.

That night, she entered slowly into the drawing room where Mrs. Weasley was sitting quietly in a chair knitting. Ginny's mother looked up when she saw Ginny approaching timidly. Her heart was thumping like a drum.

"Hello, dear."

"Hey, Mum." said Ginny, sitting down on the arm of Mrs. Weasley's chair.

"What's going on?" her mother asked.

Ginny could not do it. She could NOT hurt her mother like this. Not today, not on Christmas. Ginny sighed.

"Mum, did you and Dad always like each other in school? How did you get together?"

Her mother looked up from her knitting needles at her in surprise.

"Why so interested all of the sudden?"

"I'm just...curious. I mean, who liked who first, anyway? "

Molly Weasley was never one to pass up telling a good story from her youth. She put down the knitting and paused for a minute to think.

"Well, we were in the same house since our first year. Actually, we used to have a certain dislike for each other,"Molly recalled reminiscently as she laughed at the memory.

"Really? You didn't like each other?" said Ginny, surprised, never having heard this story before.

"Yes, well you know boys are slower to mature than girls. He used to tease me about all sorts of things. He was always jealous that I was better than him in potions. He was the tough Quidditch player, and I didn't care for sports much."

"So what made you like each other in the end? asked Ginny curiously.

"We were friends first. I guess later on we both matured a little and set our differences aside. That was fourth or fifth year and we starting dating in the beginning of our seventh. Does that answer your question?"

"Not really...," said Ginny slowly, "I mean, who started liking who first? Who made the first move? How did you go from being friends to more than friends?"

Molly looked at Ginny curiously. "Dear, is there someone YOU want to be more than friends with? I'm sensing there is," Molly said smiling.

"Oh Mum!" said Ginny, shaking her head embarrassed. Molly was still smiling when she answered.

"Fine, you don't have to tell me if there is. It took your father and I quite a while to finally admit we had feelings for each other, but sometimes it's better that way. See, since we were already good friends when we starting dating, we already knew a lot about each other and it was easier when we finally went out. I believe it was Arthur who finally admitted that he liked me as more than a friend and then we went on a date to Hogsmeade, and we've been together since."

Molly stroked her daughter's cheek. "Follow your heart, dear. Always say what you feel in your heart, and stay true to yourself. Remember, if you want a boy to respect you, the most important thing is to respect yourself first."

Ginny hugged her mother goodnight and headed up to bed. She wasn't very satisfied with their conversation.

It had been her Dad that had liked her Mum first, not the other way around. What were the chances that she would find that? Harry certainly wasn't showing any signs of liking her like that. Ginny damn well knew she didn't respect herself either, for that matter.

Ginny grabbed another puking pastille and stormed into the bathroom to relieve herself. She inadvertently forgot to lock the door and shoved half of the snackbox down her throat. She started to throw up into the toilet when she heard footsteps outside the door. She was still gagging when the door opened to reveal a tall and gangly redhead with a long nose who gasped out loud when he walked in. Certainly he hadn't meant to walk in on _this_.

Ginny was silently cursing herself as she hastily swallowed the other half of the puking pastille to stop the spectacular vomiting. He was watching her inappropriately use Fred and George's sweets. Her secret was out.

"Ginny WHAT are you doing?!" yelled Ron.

0o0o0o0o

_Hope you liked it. Thanks so much to everyone who gave me suggestions for the fic. I really appreciate them and I've written them all down so that I can remember to incorporate them all into the fic. Remember, I can always use idea so don't ever hesitate if there's something you want to see. Anyway, as we're getting closer to the climax of the story, I just want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for making this fic such a success so far. All you guys who review each chapter, and you know who you are, I love you and you're amazing. I COULD NOT in a million years do this without you. If you're someone who's been reading this and not been reviewing, and I know there are a lot of you, please take this opportunity to leave a short review just telling me how you liked the story, good, bad, etc. _

_Let's make it over 150 reviews! 3_


	17. Brotherly support, Sisterly Talks

"Oh my God Ron! Get out! You don't just barge in on someone when they're in the bathroom!" Ginny screamed as she tried with all her might to close the door.

Ron was too strong for her and pushed the door open and slammed it behind him. He stood in front of it with his arms crossed, blocking any means for Ginny to escape.

"Now", he said, " What in the name of Merlin's saggy left-"

"Ron! This isn't what it looks like!" Ginny screamed hysterically.

"You were obviously gagging yourself on purpose with sweets stolen from your brothers! _Why_ in Merlin's name would you do that?!" Ron roared.

Ginny couldn't bring herself to answer, she only sobbed. Ron stared at her white faced and wide eyed for what seemed like an hour while she gasped and sobbed until her eyes were red and puffy.

"Is this one of those girls thinking they're fat when they're not things that blokes wouldn't understand?" Ron asked finally.

Ginny gulped and nodded.

"I'm not going to judge you or try to understand, but you just wait and see what Fred and George do when I tell them that you've been nicking their stuff."

"No! Wait, Ron!" Ginny shrieked."You CAN NOT tell them!"

"Why in Godric's name not?" demanded Ron.

"B-Because I-I've been l-lying to them all along! They suspected a while ago that I had a problem with food and they threatened to tell Mum if I didn't get better, but I-I d-didn't get any better!" Ginny screamed alarmingly. "If anyone t-tells them, it will be me. _Please_ Ron, I'm begging you not to tell anyone, not yet."

"You-you mean", Ron started, "that you have an eating disorder?"

Ginny nodded again. This was the first time she admitted it, to herself or to anyone else. It almost felt good. Really good in fact, so much so that Ginny launched into an explanation that surprised her not to mention Ron.

"It all started last summer while we were staying here. I don't know what made me do it. (She left the part about liking Harry out.) I just started thinking I was fat and I started resisting food at all costs. I thought I would stop after a certain amount of weight lost, but i-it was too hard. It became an overwhelming _addiction._ It's messed up my whole mind and my whole way of thinking and now I just c-can't stop! I can't do it Ron! I'm going to live this way for the rest of my life! I c-can't do it!" Ginny shrieked desperately.

Ron put a hesitant arm around his little sister's shoulders.

"Shh," he said, "I don't know why you're doing this to yourself, but if it means that much to you, then-then I won't tell. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to let this slide. This is ridiculous Ginny, look at yourself! You're skinny as a broomstick and this needs to stop! If you don't get better soon, I _will_tell Mum."

Ginny sighed. "That's exactly what Fred and George said."

"You mean they already know and they haven't told anyone?!"

"No, no I think they believe I may have gotten over it already. I never really admitted it to them like I am now. I was sort of in denial then."

Ron and Ginny were silent for a few moments. Ron got up finally and left Ginny sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

"Ginny," he said as he left the bathroom,"I care about you and this needs to stop. _T-tell_ Mum or Dad or even Bill or someone. I actually agree with Fred and George. You'd much rather tell yourself than have one of us do it for you.

o0o0o0

Ginny spent the rest of the day shut in her room. She was too ashamed of herself and embarrassed about what happened to show her face in front of the rest of her family.

She felt oddly different. For months this had been her life. Hiding her disorder from everybody, shut inside her own messed up little world. Now, Ron out of all people knew. Even for him, Ron had taken it surprisingly well. Sure, Fred and George and who knows how many other people were suspicious sure, but she had never admitted it out loud. This time was different, it felt strangely liberating. Maybe other people would take it like Ron had, it wasn't great, but it was all she could ask for at this point.

Ginny could constantly hear the girls at schools' whispers behind her back, (_Did you see how skinny Ginny Weasley's gotten_?; _Can you say eating disorder_?; _Puh-leeze she should go find somewhere else to be fake and anorexic_.) but she didn't care much about anyone else. She new that somewhere inside herself, those things weren't true. She _was_ a good person. It was her family's opinions she really valued.

She still had that letter she had written to Bill in her school trunk, but she had decided now that she couldn't talk about this with a quill and parchment. No, she would tell someone in person, but when she was already on her way to getting better. She couldn't tell someone while she was so skinny and sick. She would tell either Mum, Dad, or Bill this summer when she had put some weight back on, that might save her parents' mental sanity a little at least.

She would go back to school, eat three meals a day and gain more weight. She used to always eat three meals a day. It couldn't be too hard, right?

Ginny heard an unfamiliar knock on her door.

"Come in," Ginny said uncertainly.

A young witch with shortish hair (bubble-gum pink today) smiled at Ginny and came in.

"Hi Tonks!" Ginny said, genuinely happy to see her.

"Wotcher Ginny, how have you been?" she said giving Ginny a hug.

"Alright, what are you doing up here?" Ginny asked.

"I came to talk to you!" she said enthusiastically.

"What about?"

"You."

"Me?"

"I heard you've been shutting yourself in your room lately. Hermione told me a little bit of what you've been feeling like. Now Harry is-"

"Wait, Hermione told you all about how I fancy Harry didn't she?"

"Yeah, well you do...don't you?"

Ginny couldn't lie to tonks. At only twenty-one, Tonks was the closest thing she had to an older sister. Over the last summer before all of her little shenanigans started, she, Tonks, and Hermione had all become very close. Tonks was kind of that big sister or cool young aunt kind of role model that she could ask about sex to and tell secrets that she would never tell her Mum.

Ginny sighed. "I really do Tonks, and I don't know what to do anymore. I've fancied him since I was ten and I saw him getting though the platform at King's Cross in his _first_ year."

"Well Gin, I don't have much to tell you about boys, the way they are, or how to get them, but believe it or not, I do know how you feel."

"How?" said Ginny timidly.

"There's nothing that hurts more than loving someone that doesn't love you back."

Ginny looked at Tonks. She was looking down at the bedspread, her pink bangs falling across her (today) blue eyes. She had never seen Tonks look morose like this.

"Tonks...who do you love that doesn't love you back?"

"That doesn't matter." Tonks said quickly covering up a little hint of a smile with her hand.

Ginny felt her own grin creep up on her face. "Yesss it does," she coaxed.

Tonks shook her head. "The point is Gin, that I know what you feel like. You can't just let it get you down. You can't trick yourself into thinking that this one boy is your entire life or reason for being or-"

"Tonks, it's a little hard to believe when it doesn't seem like you feel that way yourself."

"Alright," said Tonks, looking up at Ginny through her bangs. (A/N: That's fringe to you British people I believe.) "There's this man, that I happen to have loved for a while now, but he has certain _qualities_ about him that he thinks will keep us from being together. He also happens to be a lot older."

"An older man?!" Ginny giggled. "Do I know him?!"

Tonks nodded. "You've met him.

"So older...certain qualities that would keep you apart. Who could that be?"

Ginny gasped. "Is it Bill or Charlie?! Oh my Goodness! Tell me it's Bill or Charlie! We could be sisters!"

"No!" she laughed, " No it's not any of your brothers."

Ginny's face drooped in disappointment.

"It's Remus." Tonks said barely audibly.

"REMUS?! As in Lupin?! OH TONKS, he's _a lot_ older!"

"I know that Ginny."

They looked at each other and could help but grinning. Soon they were giggling uncontrollably.

"We're so sad Tonks, you want a werewolf and I want the boy who lived."

That made Tonks laugh even harder before getting up and declaring that she had to go to the order meeting.

"Well I'm glad I'm at least not the only one who's sad," she said giving Ginny a squeeze. "Don't judge this on me, but just remember that he's not worth your happiness."

Ginny smiled at Tonks and nodded.

0o0o0o0o0

Ginny felt a little better after that and even felt up to hanging around in the drawing room with all four of her present brothers, Hermione, and Harry. They played wizards' chess and exploding snap, sat around the fire, and basically savored every moment of relaxation they had before returning to school.

Ron was kind and merciful enough to keep his big mouth shut for the remainder of their Christmas break. She would have to owe him one.

They got up bright and early on the morning of their return to school. Ginny hastily packed all of her stuff into her trunk and reluctantly shuffled out into the gray London morning, where they were met by the Knight Bus which would be taking them back to Hogwarts accompanied by Mad-Eye and Tonks.

The Weasley children, Harry and Hermione said their good-byes to the rest of the adults and got onto the big purple bus. Ginny sat on the lower level with Fred and George while Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat on the upper floor.

The rapid twisting and turning of the bus didn't seem to bother Fred and George in the slightest, but it was enough for Ginny to feel sick to her stomach. Perhaps it was because her stomach was so accustomed to self-induced vomiting lately. She sat with her eyes closed leaning against the window for the whole duration of the ride. It didn't help either when an old witch named Madame Marsh got sick all over the floor before exiting the bus at her stop.

Finally, they made it to Hogsmeade Station where they rode the carriages back up the school and then went in their own separate directions, as if they had never left school.

o0o0

They were going to have a D.A meeting that night and Ginny wasn't sure if she was looking forward to it or not. One by one her friends returned and they exchanged their hellos, but Ginny didn't have much interest in any of them. Micheal arrived last looking extremely tan, having spent his Christmas break with his parents on a tropical island. He greeted her with an enthusiastic kiss.

"Ready for the D.A meeting?" he asked.

"Sure, why not?" she replied.

They set off together for the seventh floor and went inside. When everyone arrived, they were greeted by Harry who enthusiastically announced that they would be working on patronuses today. Everyone whispered excitedly and Collin and Dennis Creevey even jumped up and down on his feet.

Harry took the first few minutes of the meeting to instruct them on how to produce this advanced magic.

"Think of a happy memory, the _happiest_ you can remember!" he told them.

They broke off in pairs and started practicing. Ginny closed her eyes and wracked her memory of something happy.

_She was five and flying on Charlie's broom for the first time_. "Expecto Patronum," she said. Nothing happened.

_She was ten and she had just seen the famous Harry Potter at Kings Cross for the first time_. "Expecto Patronum!" she chanted. A feeble little silver light appeared at the end of her wand, but disappeared almost immediately.

_She was eleven and being carried up the Chamber of Secrets by a Phoenix, having just been saved by the boy who lived._ "Expecto PATRONUM!" she yelled frustrated. A large silver orb-like thing erupted from the end of her wand, but it was no particular shape and didn't last long.

Ginny concentrated even more, on what would make her the happiest person in the entire world.

_She was older than she was now. She was beautiful and thin. Her perfect, slender arm was wrapped around the arm of a tall man with messy black hair and piercing green eyes. There was a ring on her left index finger_... "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" she screamed. A small but striking tabby cat burst out of her wand and stalked around the floor of the room of requirement in a haughty and protective way.

"_Very_ well done Ginny!" said Harry.

Ginny was satisfied with herself, but couldn't help but marveling at the fact that it was _that_ particular thing that conjured her patronus.

Many people were making progress on their patronuses when the wall to the Room of Requirement was blasted through by Umbridge and her inquisitorial squad. Luckily, they had heard them before they blasted the wall, and Harry told them to run. Ginny took the initiative, being slightly more clever than Michael, and grabbed him and ran before they could be caught by any Slytherins.

They ran and ran, just far enough to not get them selves into any trouble. They launched themselves into a fairly spacious, but hidden broom closet. They locked the door shut from the inside and stood they're panting until they were sure it was safe.

Ginny was about to unlock the door and carefully step outside, when she felt a gentle hand stroke the side of her face and tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. She turned around and before she had any say, Micheal was kissing her forcefully until Ginny's thoughts went into oblivion.

They were kissing fiercely. Ginny knew she shouldn't have been, but it just felt so nice and didn't want to stop, not when this was the most exciting thing she had done in months, not when the rest of her life lately had been miserable, hungry, depressing, and lonely.

They slid down the wall until they went from a standing position to sprawled across the closet floor leaning slightly against the wall. Ginny's hands explored his body, starting at his hair down to the small of his back. They continued kissing for quite a while until Michael's hands easily unbuttoned and pulled down her too-big trousers off of her. Ginny suddenly became alert as he did this. Her heart started thumping. What did he think they were going to do?

She let it go and allowed him to keep kissing her until his hand wandered to the elastic of her underwear as if he was about to pull them off.

"Wait Michael, what are you expecting us to do?" she said nervously.

"I can cast the contraception spell," he whispered.

"NO," she said firmly.

"Why not?!" he exclaimed as if her unwillingness to lose her virginity at fifteen years old was a disgrace.

"We're not doing this," she said again. "Get off of me!"

He didn't. Instead he attempted again to pull her panties off.

"Now! Get off!" she yelled, angry tears forming in her eyes.

When he wouldn't get off, she groped the dark floor for her wand and performed the best bat-bogey hex she had ever cast in her life.

"AH! YOU BITCH!" he roared, with a face full of bat bogeys. "You skinny freak! Go eat a sandwich you anorexic slut!"

All Ginny could do was take his insults the best she could without breaking down while she scrambled back into her trousers and wrenched open the door. Nothing in her life had ever hurt her as much as what she had just said, and he didn't even know the beginning of it.

"We're done!" she screamed at him. "For Good!"

0o0oo0

_This chapter was a little inappropriate for any young readers but...oh well. I'm not going to water down my story. Thanks so much for all you're help and support guys! This chapter was LONG!_

_Keep up the reviews as always!  
_


	18. Ginny and Harry have sucky lives in ootp

Ginny stormed into the Gryffindor common room, fuming from her near sexual encounter with Michael.

This was it. She was done with him. She had never even liked him very much, he was more of a backup boyfriend.

Was this really what he thought of her? Just an inanimate object for him to use as he pleases? Ginny didn't think very much of herself lately, but she didn't think she deserved even that.

What really hurt the most was the names he had called her. Ginny was a pretty strong girl, she could deal with being called all sorts of things, but she didn't appreciate him taking the worst aspect of her life and throwing it right in her face like that. It was horrible knowing that other people saw Ginny that way.

"Hi Ginny, how's it going?" said an unexpected voice.

Ginny whipped around as she was about to climb the stairs to her dormitory to see Dean Thomas standing hopefully in front of her with his hands in his pockets.

"Hi Dean." she said uncertainly. Then Ginny remembered. They HAD flirted a little bit at the first D.A meeting. _What perfect timing_, she thought. This could work.

Dean was certainly a step-up from Micheal. He WAS in Harry's year after all, they shared a dormitory. In Ginny's mind, that was equal to getting closer to Harry, therefore she was interested in Dean.

"Hey, er there's a Hogsmeade trip coming up this weekend, and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me. You know, for Valentine's Day?"

Ginny smiled at him, but groaned inside. Of course, she WOULD have Quidditch practice on that day. She still had visions of Angelina ingraining it into their brains.

"Oh, I would love to but Angelina Johnson is making us miss the Hogsmease trip because we have to train. Maybe next time though?" Ginny said sweetly.

Dean nodded and said,"Yeah sure, next time. Goodnight Ginny."

"Goodnight,"Ginny smiled at him.

Ginny let out a long whistle when the got to her room. What an eventful night.

She tossed and turned in bed that night. Her hunger pains were coming back, she was weak, and most of all depressed. Despite a perfectly cute new boy just asking her out, she still felt useless and completely used. She had absolutely nothing to offer Dean, not even her body.(A/N: don't worry I know that's horrible, but Ginny doesn't at this point.) Her body was disgusting, freak-like. If she could not even offer a boy her body, how would a boy like her for her heart, her mind, or her personality.

After hours of trying to sleep through these horrible thoughts, Ginny finally decided the attempt was futile, and decided to go sit down in the common room.

She dragged her slippered feet to the squashiest chair by the fire and sat staring at the orange and red embers.

She wasn't alone for long as she was soon joined by a black haired boy with glasses and a scar on his forehead.

"Ginny?" Harry said surprised to see her,"what are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same question,"she said icily, her complete contempt for the male race showing in her scowl.

"Fair point,"Harry said, always so polite. "May I join you?" he asked.

Ginny nodded and he sat down opposite from her. What was she doing? Had she completely ruined all males just because of the mistakes she made with Micheal and now she wouldn't even be nice to Harry? Ginny shivered as she started feeling extremely anxious as she did many nights now.

Ginny was too lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice that there were tears falling freely down her face. Harry moved over to sit on the arm of her chair.

"Ginny, what the hell? What's wrong?"

She hastily wiped her tears as soon as she came to her senses and realised what she was doing. Actually, she had no clue what she was doing, but even so all this only made her cry more and all she could do was sit there and let it happen.

"Don't worry Ginny, I knew there must have been something wrong, I do the same thing," said Harry.

Ginny looked up at him wide-eyed. "What?"

"Sometimes, when everything in my life is too hard to take, I come down here late at night when everyone else is gone and I just sit and think,"said Harry.

"Of course," he added, "My secret is sort of out now."

Ginny smiled a little, "I've got alot of secrets, it's alright. But, um I take it this is one of those nights?"

Harry nodded," I think so. I just- Sometimes I wish I could be someone else. It seems your family is about the only ones who don't believe I'm some sort of nutter. You know, I've never properly thanked you for that, thank you Ginny."

"Your welcome."

"I can't be the only one with problems, tell me why you're down here."

Ginny sighed, "It's complicated. VERY complicated, actually. I wouldn't know where to begin."

"I'm not going to be able to fall asleep, I've got the time," said Harry.

"Well, I guess I can tell you. Ron knows now, and I reckon it's time to start getting this out in the open."

Harry said nothing so Ginny took a deep breath, "I-have been going through a really rough time this year, I've sort of been struggling with an eating disorder. I can't make myself eat and when I finally do, I eat like a whale and steal Fred and George's puking pastilles to make myself puke it all up. It started out as trying to lose a little weight and it's turned into this huge ordeal where it's almost like an addiction. Ron found out, and now I have to deal with telling my family, plus I've made myself into this idiot who lets boys push her around and well, yeah. That's pretty much it."

Harry just stared at her with his mouth open, "Ginny I-I'm so sorry I-"

They were interrupted by loud voice from the bottom of the boys' staircase.

"Ron, what are you doing?" said Ginny exasperatedly, embarrassed having just poured her soul out for Harry.

"I uh, heard voices. What's going on?"

Harry turned to Ginny when neither of them answered, and said "So Ron already knows?"

"Oh you're talking about THAT? Yeah, I know and enough is enough Ginny, if you told Harry then-"

"Yeah, I know I know,"she said, "Will you please get off my back? Yes, I have a problem. Yes, I need help.You just, you have no clue how hard it is. This is the worst thing I've EVER done in my whole life."

"I won't tell Ginny,"Harry said," I don't approve of this, but you can trust me."

"I think-I think I have to tell the-the twins," Ginny said, finally coming to this realisation. "They've been suspicious this whole time, and I lied to them," she added to Harry.

Both boys nodded and Ginny got up slowly and bid them goodnight, feeling a little better than before. Now she just had to put up with telling two more family members, who were probably the two hardest she would have to face. They were NEVER going to let her live this down.

o0o0o0o0o

The next morning was Saturday, and Ginny found Fred and George in the common Room, demonstrating their newest invention, Headless Hats.

Ginny cornered George when his head was visible and asked him if she could talk to the two of them alone. George gave her a wierd look, but beckoned Fred over and the three of them went up to the twins' empty dormitory.

"So what's up Ginny?" Fred asked.

Ginny sat down on one of their beds and wrapped her arms around her knees. Her body gave a little shiver and shook and she sobbed. "I've been lying to you to for months! You were right! You were right the entire time!" she exclaimed over-dramatically.

Fred and George nodded in simultaneous understanding. They both gave Ginny a uncharacteristic sympathetic look.

"Why would you lie to us?" George asked.

"I didn't want anyone to know, I was too ashamed of myself."

"So why are you telling us now?" Fred asked his anger at Ginny finally setting in, "You need help!"

"There's a reason for that too," Ginny said getting up and telling the twins she would be right back.

She returned to the dormitory a few minutes later, her arms laden with purple and orange sweets. She dumped the entire stash onto the bed. The twins watched with their eyes wide.

"I KNEW IT!" Fred said. "Ginny, you little thief, you're such a liar."

Ginny didn't mind the insults, she deserved it. Fred said something about taking them back to the rest of their stuff in the common room and stormed downstairs.

George however being the sensitive twin, stayed with Ginny. Unlike Fred he didn't get mad for stealing their belongings but enveloped Ginny in a hug and pulled her close to him. "It's alright, Gin," he murmured, "Don't worry. It'll be fine"

Ginny felt so guilty, she could do nothing but cry in the older brother's arms until Fred finally returned upstairs. George let her go and looked at Fred.

"There's no need to be so mad, we can work out a deal."

"Like what?" Fred said.

"She can work for us and pay back what she took," George said.

"Oh Godric,"Ginny groaned.

"Yeah, that sounds good. You're going to help us develop our latest mayhem before we leave this place," Fred said, forgiving his little sister and also giving her a bear like hug.

"And also-" George said.

"Yeah I know," Ginny cut him off, "I have to tell mum and dad, old news."

o0o0oo0

_A/N:_ _I extend onto you, my readers, a challenge. If I get just twenty reviews this chapter, I will have reached 200! I KNOW for a fact that if everyone who has subscribed to this story but hasn't reviewed, took the time to just let me know how I'm doing by leaving a review, I would have WAY more reviews than I even do now. So please, just tell me how I did I have about fifty something subscribers at this point, but way less that actually review almost every chapter._

_Please, let's make it 200 reviews!! You can do it!_


	19. Dealing with Everday Life with Anorexia

_A/N: Alot of this chapter is pretty much to show how Ginny is doing with her eating disorder as the time passes and she still doesn't get any better, what effects it's having on her, etc._

_ Longer author's note at the end._

0o0o0o0o0

"Come on! You can fly faster than that!"

Ginny groaned, she was sick of flying. She was tired of Angelina yelling at her that she could do better, because she couldn't. Ginny was exhausted. Her body just couldn't take intense exercise anymore.

She wanted to be in Hogsmeade with Dean. She was sure that Michael had probably moved on already and had asked someone else out for Valentine's Day. She wanted him to see her with an older Gryffindor boy. She desperately wanted to make him jealous and want her back. Not that she would take him back, ever.

But, instead of doing anything like that of course she was stuck on the cold Quidditch Pitch with an obsessive captain.

They had an upcoming match against Hufflepuff for which they were not ready for and Ginny was sick of playing Quidditch. That was not normal for her, but it was hard to care about anything lately.

Needless to say, training was not going well. Ginny had no energy or enthusiasm whatsoever, Ron had nerve problems, and their two beaters were idiots. Angelina was practically in hysterics by the end. She eventually gave up and let them leave training early so they could go and eat dinner with the rest of the school.

Ron and Ginny changed quickly and headed up to the Great Hall where they met Harry and Hermione. It was then that Ginny realized that meals would be even harder now that she had confessed her secret. Ginny only had to look at Hermione to know that she was aware of everything. She had probably known all along, being her of course. Ginny felt uncomfortable with the way Harry and Ron stared at her, just waiting for her to pick up her fork and eat something.

Ginny ate a couple bites of her mashed potatoes but quickly made an excuse to leave and wash up, which wasn't really even an excuse. She and Ron were both dirty and muddy even after changing.

Ginny took a scalding hot shower when she got back to her dormitory. It was incredibly relaxing and quiet as the other girls in her dormitory were still at dinner. She stood for a while in the hot, steamy water and thought.

She knew she was supposed to be getting better, but she couldn't just get better overnight like some magic act. She didn't know _how _to get better as if she could just say, "I think I'll eat now." Everyday things such as eating had become an almost impossible feat. She knew she had already taken the first step; admitting her problem and telling someone, but what the heck was the second step?

While she pondered all of this, the small amount of potatoes in her stomach was nagging her to the point that she finally had to step out of the shower and make herself throw them up. This was harder to do now without the puking pastilles. It's not that she wanted to throw up, she felt as though she _had _to.

Ginny's anxiety came back as she thought of the months she still had to face at school, and with her brothers knowing about her problem. Maybe she could act really sick and get out of school early? But did she really want to be stuck at home with her Mum and Dad fussing over her either?

Ginny went to bed that night with dreamless sleep. She was too exhausted to care or think much about the match.

The best thing you could say about the Quidditch math was that it was short. There were many incidents such as Ron failing to save the quaffle for the fourteenth time in a row and Jack Sloper hitting Angelina in the mouth with his bat, but Gryffindor only ended up losing by ten points, which was alot better than how they thought they would do. Ginny had managed to catch the snitch from right under the Hufflepuff seeker's nose.

Ginny didn't even give much thought to it when Harry congratulated her on her catch later in the common room.

0o0o0o0o

The next few weeks or so went by without incident. Ginny had taken to her old habit of retreating to the quiet and empty library at meal times. The great hall was so filled with students, it was hard to tell that Ginny wasn't there. She wished she could make herself eat, but it was too overwhelming a task.

When she did turn up at meals, it was usually breakfast. The Great Hall was the least crowded in the early morning and Ginny found that she could force down a piece of toast and a sip of orange juice on a good day. This food would last her the whole day so she could at least get through her classes without severe hunger pains.

Most nights she made herself throw up with a _silencio _around the bathroom door. Of course, she no longer had puking pastilles or the guts to steal anymore so she had to do it the muggle way; brute force. Sometimes she would throw up so hard that she would wake up the next morning with a sore throat.

What killed her the most was not the pain and exhaustion she felt, but the knowledge that she wasn't stopping her behavior even when her brothers asked her to. She _was _going to tell her parents the next time she saw them in person. Ginny prayed everyday that she would make it until then, that she would pass out again or have it get to the point where she landed in the hospital.

The only thing that kept her sane during these weeks was the time she spent helping out Fred and George. They had secretly told her that they would be leaving any time now. Dumbledore was gone, so they were determined to do anything they could to ensure maximum chaos before they left their school days behind.

Ginny was a little sad to see them leave Hogwarts, but she knew it's what they wanted to do. All they wanted was to open a joke shop, and she was happy for them. Plus, without them around it was only Ron, Harry, and Hermione left to fuss over her. She trusted the twins that they wouldn't rat her out to her parents. They knew she wanted to tell them herself and in person.

They were good at not talking too much about her eating disorder and Ginny found herself actually having fun and not even thinking about her problems. They made elaborate schemes for their last days at Hogwarts, she got to help develop their fireworks, and they even told her about their plan to release a load of garroting gas into the school.

00o0

On a lazy Sunday afternoon around Easter time, Ginny found Harry in the library having just gotten back from another catastrophe of a Quidditch practice. She brought Harry his Easter Egg and even took a nibble of the chocolate herself.

Harry ended up telling her that he really wanted to speak with Sirius. Ginny felt a surge of affection towards Harry for some strange reason. She knew Fred and George would find a way to help him.

"The thing about growing up with Fred and George, " said Ginny thoughtfully, "is that you sort of start thinking anythings possible if you've got enough nerve."

This was true if Harry wanted to sneak around Umbridge and speak to his godfather, or if Ginny wanted to escape her eating disorder and get well again. Sometimes she really didn't give Fred and George enough credit. They knew their stuff.

Fred and George did end up leaving a few days later, but not without having their fun first. An entire hallway was turned into a swamp, and giant swear-word fireworks chased Umbridge down the corridors. Ginny, along with the rest of the school laughed as they watched the twins fly to their freedom from the Entrance Hall.

For a while Ginny didn't know how she was going to get through the rest of school without spending her free time helping them out with their chaotic plans, and although her eating disorder and her vomiting was as worse as ever, she managed to cope the best the could.

Although it was true she didn't care much about Quidditch anymore, she worked harder at training sessions to take her mind off things. It was worth it in the end to feel the satisfaction of catching the snitch in the Quidditch finals right from underneath Cho Chang's nose.

Another thing Ginny didn't have anymore was the D.A. meetings, which had really helped take her mind off of her eating disorder as well. The member's of Dumbledore's Army however, couldn't be brought apart no matter what the Inquisitorial squad did. Now they just had to wait for their chance to fight themselves.

0o0oo

_A/N: Please don't tell me that this chapter felt too "rushed". It was meant to be. I know during this whole fic I've been following and tying things into the book, but I couldn't do the ENTIRE school year because honestly in the book there wasn't all that much mention of Ginny and a huge chunk of the book isn't really about anything that can be tied into her Eating Disorder storyline. _

_Coming Up: Ginny will have a big epiphany, tell her parents, go through big reality checks, and also go through some painful steps to get better so stay tuned there IS more action to come!_

_Also, I totally forgot to thank all you guys for all the reviews last chapter! I can't express my thanks enough! You guys have really just made this fic a success, not me. I'm so so grateful, really it sounds cliche but I am from the bottom of my heart. You guys are awesome. Can I just say that I NEVER EVER thought I would have over 200 reviews on one fic?! I'm absolutely without words. I thought I would be lucky if I got like one or two per chapter. All i can say is wow. and thank you!_

_Keep up those reviews please!_

_This is a really long author's note I know, but I wanted to let you guys know I've started a new fic. If you like my writing or if you like the Weasleys, please check it out. It's called "Our Life As Weasleys" and it's basically Arthur and Molly's POV after Fred's death as they remember their life together and the memories made with their children. You'll see what I mean when you read it. It starts with the Birth of Bill and will probably go to sometime after Ginny. Lots of fluff and cute Weasleys. I would REALLY appreciate it if you would check it out and maybe let me know what you think. _


	20. Sticking it to the Man

_A/N: Okay I need to explain something. I know the last chapter was rushed, but I'm sorry the first half of this chapter will be too. I had always planned on writing the ministry scene but after trying to write it just now I think I'm going to just go through it quickly and write alot more about the aftermath of the fight. See, I'm good at delving into the emotions of things, such as Ginny's eating disorder, but I'm really not good at writing like action-packed climactic scenes. They usually end up being like and then, and then, and then. You get the point? So, here is the new Chapter, Enjoy :) (quotes taken directly from the book are italicized.) _

0o0o0

It was a Friday afternoon in mid-June and Ginny was exhausted. She had spent the entire afternoon in double divination, listening to Professor Trelawney drone on about her supposedly "mysterious illnesses" in a overheated, stuffy room.

Ginny had no "mysterious illness". She had long ago known exactly what her illness was.

After divination was done, Ginny was more than happy to trudge back to the common room, curl up in her bed, and sleep through dinner. Of course though, she didn't get to do that. Luna Lovegood followed her out as usal. Ginny used to look forward to her divination classes with the Ravenclaws because it was the one class she shared with Luna, who had become Ginny's friend through Dumbledore's Army. Luna was the only one of her friends who didn't stare at her like she was invalid when she came to dinner, or give her weird looks as she changed into her pajamas at night when they saw how skinny she was underneath her school robes.

For the last few weeks it was hot. Ginny was more miserable than ever and all she wanted to do was be back at the Burrow where she could lye in her bedroom with no one to bother her.

Luna and Ginny walked together through the crowded corridors, Luna practically skipping, and Ginny finding it difficult to even move her feet. They took a turn into a less populated corridor to find a shortcut, and were immediately greeted by someone yelling at the top of their lungs.

_"WELL, I EXPECT HE'D SAY SOMETHING DIFFERENT IF HE KNEW WHAT I'D JUST-"_

"That sounds like Harry," Luna said airily.

"You're right, actually."

Ginny opened the door and Luna followed closely behind her, looking around as if she were walking in accidentally.

_"Hi," said Ginny uncertainly. "We recognized Harry's voice-what are you yelling about?"_

_"Never you mind," said Harry roughly. _

_"There's no need to take that tone with me," she said coolly. "I was only wondering whether I could help."_

"Wait," said Hermione, "They _can _help."

0o0o0o0

Ginny woke abruptly with that strange feeling of waking up to find yourself in a place you're not accustomed to. She squinted in the orange, early morning sunlight and realized she was lying in the hospital wing. The others were lying in beds near her's. Harry wasn't there for some reason... "Probably with Dumbledore or something," she mused as she slumped back on her pillows and the memories of the previous night flashed through her mind.

_They were standing guard outside Umbridge's office. They were caught by the Inquisitorial Squad. _

_Ginny was mustering all the strength she possibly could to break through the Slytherin's hold and performing her signature bat-bogey hex. _

_They were all getting on Thestrals that most of them couldn't see. Ginny secretly felt more alive than she had been for the past school year flying through the sky on what seemed like nothing._

_They were breaking into the Department of Mysteries. Ginny had no clue how they were ever going to get out of there. _

_Lucius Malfoy was telling Bellatrix Lestrange to kill the smallest one. Ginny's mind raced as she thought she was going to die. She could have cared less about the dying, she didn't want them to see her for the last time while she was so unhealthy._

_They were running from the Death Eaters because they wanted some prophecy about Harry. Ginny was immediately winded, but she kept going because who knows what would have happened if she didn't?_

_They were being chased through the entire Department of Mysteries, dueling with adults wizards twice their age. Ginny, Ron, and Luna were separated from the others in a weird planet room. _

_As they were running Ginny tripped on a few steps and broke her ankle. Ginny had to hop around with a throbbing ankle with the horrible thought that it might not have happened to the others because their bones were stronger than hers were now. _

_Ginny was watching in fear as Ron was hit in the head and summoned the brains right to himself. The brains were wrapping themselves around her older brother, suffocating him. _

_The fight was becoming hopeless...and then they were saved. The order was hear. Ginny and Luna huddled together around an unconscious Hermione while the order and the Death Eaters dueled. Ginny felt for Harry when Sirius died. He was all he had left. Ginny was in full blown tears by now. _

_Dumbledore had arrived and Ginny had seen Voldemort for the first time. Not as the Tom Riddle that had possesed her, but this distorted, snake-like, _creature. _Finally, they were going home..._

Ginny cuddled her pillow as she looked across the room at Ron's bed. He was still unconscious. He looked pretty beat up, Madam Pomfrey was putting weird yellow paste on him to help the scarring.

Ginny was still shaken up about the whole thing. Sure she had been possessed by You-Know-Who before, but she had no clue what she was doing then and this was her first time actually participating in a real fight against the Death Eaters. She was used to just _hearing_ about whatever Ron, Harry, and Hermione had done that year. All those Dumbledore's Army meetings were finally making sense to her. She knew why they had them now. She knew why they had to learn. There was a legitimate danger out there. It was real, it was right now, and here Ginny was still struggling to reveal her eating disorder and recover.

Something about that experience changed Ginny. She knew she could not do this anymore, not when there were too many more important things, _much _more important things. People were going to be fighting for their lives and even sacrificing them just for the greater good of the wizarding world, not caring about whether or not little Ginny Weasley was fat. That went for Harry too. He had fight more than anyone, afterall.

All of the sudden Ginny's perspective changed. The thought of living through this ongoing battle against You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters seemed scarier than telling her parents that she had an eating disorder. In fact, she was now _looking forward _to telling her parents and getting the help she needed just so she could be at home in her bed, knowing she was safe and in control of the situation.

Ron ended up being fine in the end, the scars were barely noticeable and Fred and George had sent him enough chocolate frogs for him to even notice that he had ever been badly injured.

Harry was acting strange for the last few days of school, but that was a given. His godfather had just died after all. Ginny was mourning for Sirius as well of course, he had been a good friend of her family for the past year or so but it couldn't even compare to the way Harry had felt.

Ginny had never been more relieved in her life when she packed up her trunk for the last time, boarded the Hogwarts Express and said good-bye to the worst school year of her life.

She sat with Ron, Harry, and Hermione on the way home. Usually after these kinds of experience it was better to spend some time with your family, Harry and Hermione being included as family of course.

As for Ginny's crush on Harry, well she still wasn't over that. Who knew if she ever would be? But she was mature enough to accept that he had enough on his plate right now. She would forget about him for a while, especially seeing as Dean Thomas had asked her to be his girlfriend on the last day of school. Ginny had no clue _why _any boy would like her in this state, but if he did then he was good enough for her. She did enjoy the look on Ron's face when she told her brother who she had decided on, anyhow.

Ginny was almost relieved to say good-bye to Harry at King's Cross. She was ready to just be home with her brothers, even though she did wish Hermione would just come straight to the Burrow with her. She needed all the moral support she could get while figuring out how to tell her parents. Maybe her parents would just take one look as Ginny's bone-thin emaciated body and any explanation would be unnecessary.

Her mother gave her a weird look as she greeted Ginny with a hug, but didn't say anything and Ginny remained silent as well. She was planning on collapsing on her bed when she got to the Burrow, and telling her parents after dinner. Something inside of Ginny knew that this was the time she was actually going to go through with it and try and stop her eating disorder. The question was whether or not this particular scar ran too deep to fix. It was going to be a long, painful road to recovery this summer.

o00o0o

_A/N: Holyyy Hufflepuff am I glad that chapter is over. It's gonna have to be good enough cause that was really hard for me to write. But there's more good stuff coming up! I just really hated writing this one. I also apologize for spelling and grammatical errors, I could be bothered much to edit this chapter._

_I also hope you don't think this fic is slowing down or going down the toilet, cause there is probably about roughly 3 to 5 chapters left and they will be filled with plenty of emotional and painful stuff BELIEVE me. I will go into detail about what Ginny's body looks like, it will be graphic and raw and all that good stuff. It's going to have hospital scenes where Ginny has to get medical help. _

_Please Review! Next Chapter will come sooner than this one, I promise. _


	21. Home at Last but perhaps not for long

It was with great relief that Ginny finally found herself home at the Burrow. Fred and George had obviously noticed that Ginny hadn't gotten much better, what with the accusing stares she was getting from them, but they kept their mouths shut. Ginny was grateful.

She and her brothers trudged up the green and welcoming lawn of the childhood home Ginny had missed so much. It was with a pang in her stomach that she realized she hadn't seen it in almost a year. They had spent most of last summer and Christmas at Grimmauld Place.

Ginny shrieked when she saw her oldest brother, Bill sitting at the kitchen table and ran to hug him. She had always taken comfort in her oldest brother as he was the first one to be protective of her.

Over his shoulder, Ginny saw _her. _Old Fleur Delacour, the French girl from the Triwizard Tournament. Ginny knew Bill had been giving her private English lessons, but why the Hufflepuff did Bill bring her here?

"Oh, right," Bill said to Ron and Ginny. "You remember Fleur? Well, I've brought her here to stay so she can get to know the family before the big day."

"What big day, precisely?" Ginny asked.

"Bill and I are to be married!" exclaimed Fleur in her annoyingly heavy French accent. "Eet ees so nice to see you again, Bill 'as told me such wonderful sings about all his seeblings."

Behind them, Ginny saw her mother shake her head slightly.

"Wait a second, you're getting _married?"_Ginny demanded.

"Well, yeah." Bill replied gently. It was obvious he didn't want to hurt Ginny as he knew she would probably be secretly jealous of Bill having a new favorite girl.

"I, uh...congratulations, I guess!" Ginny said uncertainly, eying Ron who said the same.

Ginny ran upstairs at top speed to drop her things off in her bedroom and vented her feelings into the toilet. How could he just go ahead and get married? And to _her. _Ginny didn't even know her very well, but she did know that Fleur was haughty and vain. Ginny couldn't help but have hard feelings towards her. She was obviously marrying her brother solely on his looks.

Throwing up was actually quite medicinal, like getting rid of her negative feelings and flushing them down the toilet. Each time she did it she told herself it was the last time.

"_Tonight's the night_," she reminded herself. Ginny felt a nervous pang in her stomach as she thought about telling her parents. The only thought that kept her going was that she would probably only last a day anyway under Mrs. Weasley's watchful eye without her noticing that Ginny was abnormally skinny and emaciated.

She was grateful at least, that her brothers had not said a word yet. Bill would find out tonight. Charlie would more likely than not the next time he came home. Percy...well maybe by the time he finally came home Ginny would be better. It was a bleak little flicker of hope as Ginny had just started to wrap her mind around the thought that she may struggle with this for the rest of her life.

o0ooo0o

Ginny spent the rest of the time before dinner contemplating how she would get through her last meal that she would have to hide.

She freaked out as soon as she took off her school robes. There was _nothing _she could wear to hide how skinny she was. She would walk down into the kitchen and it would be unnecessary to say a word. She _needed _to say it for herself though, how else would they even begin to understand?

Ginny sighed and felt what dignity she had left break as she stood in front of her wardrobe mirror in her underwear and looked at her body properly for the first time in months.

The girl Ginny saw in the mirror was completely disgusting and not thin enough. She had been told enough times that she was scarily skinny, and she felt horrible. She _knew _that other people thought she was skinny, but she couldn't see it herself. She also didn't think she would ever be satisfied.

The girl who was really looking in the mirror was a scary sight without clothes on. She wasn't quite as bad as those haunting pictures typically shown to depict a severely anorexic girl, but she was definitely too thin to be considered healthy or at all normal.

Her cheekbones were more prominent than ever, as she had little fat left in her face. Her tiny, stick-like arms weren't just skin and bone yet, but they could not get much thinner without being able to actually _see _the bone. They stuck out disproportionately from her chest, where her bones were visible underneath her paper-like skin. Her waist was now too small to line up with her ribcage, so her ribs stuck out from her stomach like a sore thumb. Her hipbones were becoming visible was well, connecting to her now chicken legs. It wasn't by any means absolutely horrifying, but it still had more scary potential to get worse.

Ginny tore her eyes away from the mirror and put on Charlie's old long sleeved t-shirt that she liked to wear to bed sometimes with pajama pants. She could get away with that. There was no pretending she was tired, Ginny didn't see anything peculiar about wanting to spend the evening in her pajamas. Ginny was grateful that Charlie had always been the biggest of her brothers.

She got through dinner without incident. The binge-eating episodes followed by self-induced vomiting gave Ginny just enough meat on her bones left to cause her mother to believe she was merely underfed at school and required triple helpings of everything.

Ginny ate what she could manage without complaint. There was no need to cause a scene yet. She enjoyed being home as much as she had anticipated, but with the exception of Fleur, who Ginny had properly re-christened "Phlegm."

Fred and George made their usual jokes while Ginny pretended to laugh at them. Apprently they had already started their joke shop with gold from who knows where and were moving to a little flat in Diagon Alley. Ginny's heart broke anew at this news. Everything was changing she felt. She would have never expected the two brother's that teased her the most to be the ones she would be so sad to see leave. They had been pretty lenient with her lately. Still, Ginny felt as though everything were falling apart.

She received the usual glances from the twins and Ron when they saw her eating. That was to be expected. Ginny also learned that her father had gotten a promotion at work, which only added to her guilt of having to ruin any happiness tonight. Her father worked so hard for her, and this is what she had turned out to be.

Ginny felt a sense of dreading after what seemed like forever when her mother finally started clearing the table.

Of course, not being able to resist, she ran upstairs relieved herself of her meal after everyone had left the kitchen. She purged violently until she decided she was relaxed enough to brave her parents.

She was really hoping to catch either her Mum or her Dad on their own, but having Ginny's luck she found the two of them sitting in the living room, looking perfectly serene. Her Mum sat with her knitting needles while her Dad read the Daily Prophet.

She took an extra-long breath and walked slowly into the living room. They looked up when they saw her approaching timidly, evidently expecting her to say something. She should have prepared them better for this.

"Mum, Dad..I've got to tell you something. I haven't been well this school year at all. I-"

Ginny stopped mid-sentence, her eyes wide. Her parents stared at her in shock. She fell to her knees as she felt the pain sear through her entire body, as if her body was shutting down. She barely had time to notice her father rushing to her side or her mother cry out her name.

Then everything went blank.

o0o0o0o0o

_A/N:_

_Another long author's note. Just don't read this if my musings are boring to you. I tend to blabber on and on. I need a Harry Potter blog or something...  
_

_ I love you guys! Thanks so much for all of your feedback and support, it's meant the world to me. I still remain completely blown away by the number of reviews I've received. Just me, the little five foot tall Harry Potter obsessed girl who actually enjoys being a nerd and spends all her time buying more clothes she doesn't need (because as well as Harry Potter she's enthralled with fashion) and thinking about her poor Freddie who died in the Battle Of Hogwarts.(not to mention talking about Harry Potter as if it's completely real, which it is right?) No don't worry I have friends I promise, they accept my quirky Potterness. :p_

_Also a big thank you to the anonymous reviewers because as those of you who review each chapter have probably realized, I reply to EVERY single tiny little review I get. I feel like I've done something wrong morally if I don't lol. So obviously i feel bad when I can't reply to the nice anonymous reviews I've gotten.(NOT including the one or two bad ones I've gotten. If you are going to flame, at least have the guts to add your name.) Anyway there was one by the name of Kate, and I really appreciated her review because she just said it was well-written unlike alot of other hp fanfics. That really meant the world to me, my favorite compliment to get is just a simple well-written. I love writing so it makes me feel like I could actually do something in life with writing if I want to as well as just being a part of the Harry Potter fandom. (an AMAZING fandom I hasten to add) _

_**14 More Reviews and We'll have reached 250!!** Oh and how did you guys feel about it being a whole YEAR since the Deathly Hallows release?! A WHOLE YEAR SINCE FRED DIED!! I felt like crying. Ok I did cry._


	22. Diagnosis

_A/N: So I went to the midnight release of Breaking Dawn, the new Twilight book the other day...and wore my Harry Potter t-shirt! yeah yeah represent! I drew on the back so it said" I only heart Harry Potter" teehee. People gave me weird looks, but I felt like it was completely necessary. I do enjoy Twilight though, I've gotten my friend into it so if you haven't read it, go read it right now! I was going to sit down for a while and read it but...I care about you guys too much and decided I better give you the next chapter so you better appreciate it ;) Enjoy._

_**The anonymous reviewer Sam Slick:** I really do apologize that you got the impression I was insulting the French accent. That was a misunderstanding, I was in no way making fun of French accents or saying that all French accents in general are annoying. That was just to show that Ginny was annoyed with the way Fleur in particular spoke because really she was probably jealous of Fleur. As to what I would think if someone insulted my accent, well I don't really have an answer for that seeing as people make fun of American accents all the time...but I have to say I really don't appreciate being called a "ruddy westerner". I think THAT was in bad taste and it was an awfully stereotypical and kind of arrogant thing to say. I don't want to be referred to as merely a "westerner". I am AMERICAN actually from a French-Canadian ancestry and seeing as I have relatives who speak French, I would not insult the language or accent. I do NOT enjoy being referred to as a stereotype. I want to be respected and seen as my own person instead of the exact stereotype of where I'm from JUST because I'm from there._

_and someone said they wanted Bill and Ginny big brothery hurt/comfort so here it is !_

o0o0o0o

**Molly and Arthur**

"Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, I'm sorry to tell you that your daughter has been diagnosed with anorexia."

Molly looked at her husband with despair while Arthur buried his face in his hands.

After composing herself, Molly looked up at the healer guiltily.

"I had absolutely _no _idea."

"You mustn't blame yourselves Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, it's a disease much more common with muggle girls but it _can _occur with anyone. Being at school all year, I expect it wasn't too hard to hide this from you."

Arthur sighed. "How did this happen?"

"We're not sure. There are many ways this type of behavior can start and escalate to this level of illness."

"So just how bad is it?" Arthur asked.

"Right now Ginny has gone without virtually any proper nourishment for quite a while and has literally worn herself out. She's starting to not function properly. The only way she can recover is if she returns healthily to a proper diet. At this stage, it's easier said than done."

"So what do we do?" Molly almost whispered.

"There are a number of treatments we can try. At any rate, we're going to have to do a muggle treatment on her until she regains the strength to go home, at which time she can go on a strict diet and attend therapy sessions. More often than not, eating disorders are more of a psychological issue as opposed to merely a teenage girl thinking she's fat."

Molly nodded. "What is the muggle treatment?" she asked.

"Feeding through a tube, ma'am."

Molly clapped a hand to her mouth to stifle her sob.

"We'll do anything it take to get her better," Arthur chimed in.

The healer nodded. "There _will _be medical expenses depending on how long we have to keep her in the hospital."

"We'll manage," Arthur said firmly. "How long will it be before she can come home?"

"It's hard to say right now. Only time will tell. Has she exhibited this type of behavior at all?"

"I don't know!" Molly said. "She must have hid it very well! I never would have thought!"

The healer nodded. "This is a very serious situation, I assure you we'll do everything in our power to make sure she gets healthy again. I'll go get the paperwork you'll need to fill out and give you two a moment alone."

When the Healer had left the room, Molly let out a number of sobs.

"Oh Arthur, was I a bad mother?"

Arthur shook his head with stress. "Of course not, love. This _isn't _your fault."

"What are we going to do?"

"We're going to be supportive of her. Let her know we're not mad at her until she recovers. I just never thought we'd have to deal with something like this."

"My poor little girl, what would possibly give her the incentive to do this?"

"Who knows dear, but we shouldn't bombard her with interrogations just yet. We need to focus on making sure she gets better. Whatever she's thinking, I'm sure her intention wasn't to end up in the hospital. I just wish we had known _sooner. _To go all year without guessing a thing!"

" I _knew _it! Last summer, I thought she had gotten unnaturally thin and she convinced me that she was just eating better! I knew it Arthur, she hadn't been eating! All this time!" Molly sobbed.

Arthur nodded sadly. " I wish she knew how beautiful she is. How could she possibly think she needs to do this to herself?"

o0o0o

**Ginny**

_A much too hard bed._

_A too white room._

_Lighting much too bright._

_"Oh no, they haven't sent me to the nutty house have they?" Ginny thought deliriously._

Ginny let out a soft moan and opened her eyes. She was in a stark-white hospital room.

The memory came flashing back through Ginny's mind. She was _this _close. She was just about to tell her parents! Now they will have found out for themselves, no doubt.

Ginny rolled over and her stomach lurched as she realized she was not alone.

"Hey you, " her oldest brother said quietly. "Nice to see you've woken up."

"Bill! You're here?!" Ginny asked incredulously. "Wh-What's going on?"

"You passed out. Mum and Dad have just told me what the healer said. You've been diagnosed with an eating disorder, young lady."

Ginny nodded to show that she knew this better than anyone. "Where are mum and dad now?" she asked.

"Filling out some paperwork in the healer's office. The rest of the kids and Fleur are at the Burrow. Mum and Dad didn't want everyone rushing off to the hospital until we knew what was wrong, but they'll come to see you later I expect."

"But you came?" Ginny asked in a small voice. The sight of her big brother there comforting her when she woke up and without _her _was a huge relief. She would have felt even more uncomfortable if she had woken up to her parents.She had never been more happy to Bill or felt more affection towards him.

"Of course, Ginny. I'd never been more worried about you in my life! What would I have done if I lost you? You're my baby sister."

Ginny had started to cry and Bill wrapped his arms around her trying to comfort her while trying not to squish her. She had never looked more breakable.

Gradually she calmed down.

"Bill, I should have told you then! Then!"

"Then? What are you talking about Ginny?"

"I was going to tell you! Months ago, and I didn't!" Ginny sobbed. "I was going to send you a letter!"

Bill was flabbergasted. "Yes, Ginny you should have! I have absolutely no clue why you would choose not to tell anyone about this sooner."

Ginny sighed. "What about Ron and Fred and George?"

"What about them?"

"Were they surprised I passed out?"

"Shouldn't they have been?"

"Not really, they've known for a while now but I made them swear not to tell anyone."

Bill shook his head in exasperation. "Ginny you've waited much too long, but yes now that you mention it they weren't really all that surprised. When I told them you'd collapsed they seemed to understand why. I didn't really give it much thought at the time, but they seemed to sort have been expecting it. Godric, I'll kill them. They shouldn't have listened to you when you were so ill. It you _had _told me, I wouldn't have told Mum and Dad. You know what I _would _have done?"

"What?"

"I would have gone to Hogwarts and _carried _you straight to St. Mungos. They're idiots for giving in to you."

After just a few moments, the healer walked in. It was an ominous sign, he did not look like he was going to be bringing Ginny any presents.

Followed behind him were a couple nurses to help him in whatever he was doing.

Ginny tried to look the least scared she possibly could even though she was positive the sound of her heart thumping would give her away.

Bill stroked her hair softly as she whimpered quietly.

She was glad of her brother's comforting presence but was positively sobbing while the healer and nurses hooked her up to a feeding tube and I.V. Bill felt squeamish but stuck by his little sister's side. He was there as long as she needed it.

She was given a potion for dreamless sleep not long after so she didn't have much time to be down right humiliated.

Bill murmured to her softly as she fell asleep.

"Sleep little sister, you know you'll always be my favorite girl, no matter who I may or may not date."

Bill suppressed tears as a nurse came in to check her I.V and take her temperature.

"Are you her father?" the nurse asked incredulously eying Bill's young face.

"No, I'm her brother."

"Do you know how long she's been like this?"

"No idea, from what I gathered, months."

The nurse nodded and left them alone.

They were soon joined by their parents who looked tired and too stressed to see their daughter like this in the hospital.

Molly gave a little sob and went to go kiss her daughter on her forehead. Arthur did the same and turned to Bill.

"Bill, go back and tell the kids we'll be here a while."

Ginny only thought of the feeding tube and the nourishment it was giving her against her will. It killed her that there was nothing she could do about it.

o0o0o0o

_A/N: Reviews please!_

_Right then, there are 262 reviews at the moment and 18 reviews were for last chapter. There are 63 people who have this story on their alerts and I only need a little more than HALF of those people (38 to be exact) to review this chapter to reach 300. And if HALF of the people who put this story on their alerts actually REVIEW, I would have well over 300 reviews. Now although that is a little too much math for me, it's not really too much to ask now is it?  
_


	23. Impossible Expectations

"Ginny, how on _earth _did all of this happen?" asked a distraught Mrs. Weasley.

Ginny had taken a potion for dreamless sleep and had just woken up from what was the first really good night's sleep she'd had in a while. After making sure that she was sound asleep, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had gone back to the Burrow to get some of Ginny's things and get some sleep themselves before returning early that morning when their daughter was fully awake.

"I don't know," Ginny mumbled. She didn't feel like answering any questions. She was mad about being here in the first place, not to mention completely humiliated to have tubes in her.

"_Why_ Ginny?" Mrs. Weasley demanded hysterically. "Please tell us why. In all these years I would have never thought this of you."

"Stop Molly," Arthur said quietly to Molly when Ginny turned her head away from her parents. " Remember how we're not supposed to interrogate her, but be non-judgmental and understanding?"

Molly sighed but nodded solemnly looking at the tube in Ginny's nose with despair.

Ginny mumbled something incomprehensibly. She wanted to be rid of her invasive parents. It had been so much nicer when her brother was with her. Why did he have to leave her again?

"What did you say, Gin?" Mr. Weasley asked kindly.

Ginny spoke a little louder, irritated this time.

"I wanna see Bill again. Or Ron or the twins."

Molly and Arthur looked at each other quickly.

"I think we should go back and let the others come and see her, Mol," Mr. Weasley said.

"Right," Mrs. Weasley sniffed reluctantly, covering Ginny with an extra blanket. "Well be back to see you in a bit Ginny."

Ginny felt enormous guilt as she watched her broken hearted parents walk out of her room unwanted by their ill daughter. The sheer disappointment was worse than if they had screamed at her. She tried her hardest not to dwell on it. If she could somehow get out of this hospital it would be worth it.

Ginny's parents must have wanted to let her sleep for a while longer before anyone would come and visit her. She knew their intentions were only for her to calm down and have a chance to accept her current situation, but the alone time in the hospital was slow torture. The healers refused to take her off the feeding tube, even when she pleaded and told them she'd eat a normal meal (not that that bit was true of course).

Although the couple hours she was alone was torturous, she ended up gaining some valuable insight due to all the time she had to gather her thoughts. Ginny cuddle with her much to flat pillow and thin woolly blanket and really reflected on her past year.

Hot, fat tears rolled down her thin and sunken face as she thought about the entire year of her life wasted on fasting, self-induced vomiting, and distancing herself from her friends and family. What was any of it for anyway? Here she was in the hospital having gained absolutely nothing. She certainly hadn't gained a certain Harry Potter, that was obvious. Instead she lost the trust and pride of her parents, the respect of her brothers, and most of all her own dignity.

Ginny didn't believe for one minute that recovering from this would be easy. Of the many things she had lost it was belief in herself, and Ginny didn't have the courage, confidence, or even motivation to get herself on the right track. Perhaps she would just die this way. Maybe the world would be better off without sad, little, ill Ginny Weasley.

Ginny dwelled on that depressing thought as she fell into a light doze brought on by sheer boredom. She snapped out of her stupor when she heard a sharp knock on the door.

"Come in," she said weakly.

The first person she saw was Ron followed by the twins and Bill. She gave a weak smile when she saw them, as if to make her situation atleast look a little better than it actually was. Behind Bill, she got a glimpse of silvery blond hair.

Ginny's fragile stomach dropped. If she had had any real food in her stomach instead of the contents of her I.V. that she didn't even want to _think_ about, she would have felt sick to her stomach.

_Why _on earth would Bill bring her here? As if that was what Ginny need right now.

"Hey Ginny, nice little spot you've got yourself in here," said either Fred or George. Ginny couldn't tell which without applying effort that she didn't feel like putting in.

"Hi," Ginny said in a tiny voice, trying not to make it obvious that she was resentful towards her oldest brother's girlfriend.

Without even being invited, they all pulled up chairs around Ginny's bed and sat down. Ginny felt awkward at this point. She had absolutely nothing to say for herself. What was she supposed to say? Sorry for not eating and ending up in the hospital, I totally want everyone staring at me like I'm an animal in the zoo! Ginny didn't think so. Suddenly after looking forward to being with her brothers again, all she wanted was to be alone and sleep some more in her dreamless world of oblivion.

Ginny's brothers gave her all sorts of looks ranging from sympathetic to accusing and talked amongst themselves. Ginny was atleast glad they didn't interrogate her to much, the sight of their little sister in the hospital and looking so frail was probably enough to soften them a bit. Besides, they probably were under the impression that they would put a stop to this.

Overall, Ginny's brothers were kind to her. Ginny didn't mind lightly dozing with her brother's around her until Fleur starting talking.

"You know I understand veery vell," Fleur said throatily, "eet makes perfect sense. Of couse Geeny 'as an eating deesorder. Zere are so many veelas and uzzer beautiful creatures zat eeit is veery easy to become jealous and sink zat you are not as good-looking."

Fred and George glared at Fleur. Ron stayed red-faced and quiet and normal. Bill pretended like nothing had happened. Ginny might have been upset, but she was still herself. She was never the kind of girl who let those kinds of comments get to her. She was better than that.

Not too long after, Ginny's parents came back to be with her for a while and ushered everyone else back home.

o0o

Ginny was fed through the tube for a total of three days. Her father and brothers took turns sleeping on the armchair in her hospital room at night so she wouldn't be alone.

On the third day Ginny was allowed to be free from any sort of tube or I.V. and was given a healthily portioned breakfast. Did they really expect her to just quit cold turkey and eat her breakfast consisting of cereal and toast, which to them was an "easy" start? If she ate a good amount of her meal, she would be allowed to go home along with her healer recommended diet plan.

If she went home and did not comply with the rules, she would be sent to therapy three times a week or if it got extreme, hooked up to the feeding tube again. Not wanting any of that ever again, Ginny painfully spooned cereal into her mouth. She tried to sip the milk and let the cereal get soggy and dissolve so it would look like she had eaten it. She took a total of two bites of toast, but that was the best they were going to get out of her. It felt like chewing carpet.

Thankfully, with some reasoning from her father she was allowed to go home around noon. As soon as she got home, she was ushered in a chair by her frantic mother just in time for her perfectly planned lunch. Her mother was not going to break the rules an inch.

Ginny was given a bowl of chicken noddle soup with lots of vegetables in it, a piece of bread, and low in sugar pumpkin juice. The point of her diet plan was to get her to eat three full meals a day, no matter how tough it was. It was tough love here, no exceptions.

It wasn't as easy as putting a spoon to her mouth. With every teeny spoonful, Ginny's stomach hurt more and more and she felt increasingly anxious. It was like a bad dream where you want to run but your feet were glued to the floor, but instead she wanted to eat some soup but just couldn't bring herself to.

Her mother only let Ginny out of her watchful eye when the bowl was atleast three fourths of the way empty and she had a bite of bread. Ginny jumped at her chance to exit the kitchen and rain upstairs to the bathroom across from her bedroom.

Her head raced as she slammed the door shut and locked the door. She felt dizzy, even nauseated. It was all so overwhelming, she knew she was supposed to eat what she had but at the same time it killed her that she had all that food in her digestive system. Did she really want to get better or was it just the hospital and her parents who did?

Ginny fell to her knees at the toilet and threw up the entire contents of her stomach...twice. She hadn't even done it on purpose that time. She felt her head pounded and she heard her mother knocking at the door and shouting something at her. She gagged a little more, wiped her mouth, and flushed the toilet. She found it hard to even get up and brush her teeth, which were starting to yellow from all of her stomach bile.

She looked at herself in the mirror as she slowly brushed her teeth. Her eyes looked dead and sunken. She looked ready to pass out at any second. She was a mess.

o0o0o

_A/N: Much love and thanks to those of you who helped me out of my writer's block incident and gave me suggestions. They really helped my creativity flow a little better and I got this chapter done.It's short again, yeah but I'm sorry that's just what I write. That's what you get when the author has the attention span of a gerbil. Don't worry next chapter will have deeper conversations probably with Molly and Arthur. I'll also try to bring back Tonks and some other Order members. I know you guys want Harry, but I'm sorry I stick to canon. Harry will have to wait until later in the summer. I AM going to have them together eventually, but it's gonna stick to the time line in the book. We may see some HINTS that they will be together soon though. Maybe a little confession on Harry's Part?_


	24. First Time

_A/N: This chapter is rated M for mature for graphic sexual content. I'm just warning you now, please use your discretion. I'd say if you are under fourteen it might be a little inappropriate for you. Then again, so would this whole story._

oo0o0

Ginny lay in her bed napping the afternoon she had come back from the St. Mungo's. Her mother was disappointed in her that she had thrown up as soon as she had gotten food into her stomach, but didn't force her to eat atleast so Ginny didn't care.

It was the best kind of relief to be napping in her own bed, basking in the sun shining through her window.

There was a soft pattering on the glass. Ginny lifted her head to squint through the sun at two large owls bearing letters for her.

Ginny jumped up to open the window and untie the letter from the owls' legs. As soon as she took her letters, the owls soared through the open window and out of sight.

She sat cross legged on her bed enjoying the summer breeze through the open window and looked at the two pieces of parchment.

The first one was from her brother, Charlie.

_Hey little sister,_

_I hear you've been quite ill. While I have absolutely no idea as to why _

_you've been doing this to yourself, I'm you're big brother and I'm here for you._

_It's weird to think I haven't seen you in almost a year. I hope to make a trip up to _

_The Burrow this summer. I bet you've changed quite a bit, but I still can't wait to _

_see you. Heard from Percy at all? I guess not. Ah well, see you soon. Love you. _

_-Charlie_

Ugh. So her entire family knew didn't they? No, she hadn't heard from perfect, prat Percy but as far as she was concerned she didn't care to see him. He would just lecture her, and as long as he was disloyal to the family, she didn't want to see him. Of course she missed her third oldest brother, but the old him.

Charlie. Ginny missed him so much it almost hurt. She'd always admired Bill the most, but Charlie could comfort her the best. Maybe because he was so big and muscular. He gave the best hugs. Ginny felt safe and protected the most by him.

Snapping out of her daydream, she turned to the other letter. She looked at the bottom for the signature. Dean? He had really written her?

_Ginny,_

_I'm sorry to here you've been ill. _(So _everyone _knew!?)

_Anyway, it doesn't matter to me, I still think you're beautiful._

_I'm wondering if you'd want to get together this summer?_

_My Mum and sisters are away on a Holiday and I've got the house to myself. _

_I'd be cool if you could come over. Just don't tell your brothers. Especially Ron, seeing_

_as I have to live in the same dormitory as him for most of the year. My house is _

_252 Penny Lane, London. (A/N: Beatles's song I know, couldn't think of anything else)  
_

_Yours, Dean. _

Ginny had to laugh. What kind of girl did Dean think she was? She wasn't judging _him, _all teenage guys acted like him but all she could think about was Harry anyway. Sure it would be a great distraction, but the thought of being all alone with an older guy in his house was a little scary. She was still self conscious of her body and she was only fifteen.

Well, she _was _turning sixteen this August. She knew sixteen was still young, but it still sounded a bit older than _fifteen. _Maybe she would think about it then. She still didn't think she would want to go all the way with him. It's not like they were in a real relationship or anything. They still barely knew each other after all.

Meanwhile, she had too much to think about. She had to find someway to eat. She had to deal with gaining the respect of her family back. Harry was coming to stay with them any day now. That was always awkward. Usually girls didn't have their crushes staying in their house for the entire summer to hang out with her older brother instead of her.

Ginny sighed and decided it was time to weigh herself to see if she had gained any weight. Wasn't that the point of that damn feeding tube?

She got up relectantly from her breezy, sunny room with the aqua blue walls, white bed, and too many posters of the Weird Sisters and other Wizarding bands and locked herself in the cramped bathroom.

Ginny couldn't stand it in here. She picked the scale off the floor and carried it all the way back to her room where she would keep it there. She was the one who needed it anyway. None of her famliy even cared how much they weighed. Her brothers definitely didn't weigh themselves or count their calories, they could just eat and not think anything of it. Ginny envied them a bit.

With the scale now on her bedroom floor by her full length mirror she stripped off her clothes to be as accurate as possible and stepped on the scale while examining her body in the mirror.

She half expected the little hand to go alot further, but in the end wasn't very surprised when it stop at a mere 89.5 pounds.

She had gained one and a half pounds. Atleast she was almost out of the 80's. She decided she wanted to be one hundred pounds exactly. A whole ten and a half pounds was a lot to gain and besides, her parents and healer's would want her at more than that anyway. This was beginning to prove impossible.

There was a soft knock on her door.

"Hold on don't come in! I'm changing," Ginny shouted.

"Alright dear, I want you to come down to dinner," her mother said.

"Kay, I'll be right down."

She put her jeans and t-shirt back on and descended the stairs slowly into the kitchen. She'd been used to coming to dinner to a full house, and was half surprised when she realized that it was only her parents, Ron, Bill and Fleur at home. She was used to Bill and Charlie being gone, but not having the twins around every night was a strange, not to mention quiet concept for them all.

For once she was grateful for Fleur boring them all in details about her wedding plans. They were so consumed with feigning interest in her that they left Ginny alone to cope with dinner without five pairs of eyes watching her eat.

She managed a few vegetables from the meat and vegetable stew. She would scoop them up with her spoon and then drain the broth on the side of the bowl so that she could just eat the vegetable. This atleast made it look like she was eating. She tore up a piece of bread in her hands and made it into little peices that could pass as eaten.

She _did _want to eat, but it was too difficult. The guilt she knew she would feel for eating would be worse than any meal.

o0o0o

Ginny woke up the next morning with an awful feeling in her stomach. Something wasn't right.

She actually had food in her stomach. She had gone to bed that night without throwing her dinner up!

She was sort of proud of herself, except for the fact that the meal was still in her digestive system and it was too late for it now. It was probably in her small intestines by now.

Ginny felt overwhelmed and ran to the bathroom and jabbed her finger down her throat. She did this a total of four or five times maybe, she wanted to get rid of as much of her stomach contents as still possible.

With tears in her eyes, she got up and brushed her teeth, took a shower, and dressed for the day.

Fleur was in the kitchen talking to her mum, who looked happy to see Ginny to save her from Fleur's ramblings about the wedding. When they started arguing about who would bring Harry his breakfast, Ginny hurried back upstairs.

When had Harry gotten here anyway? She opened the door to the twins room to find Harry, Ron, and Hermione all in there.

Ginny greeted them as genuinely as she could and gave Hermione a hug. She hadn't even realized Hermione was there either as she must have been staying in Charlie or Percy's old room. It hurt her that Hermione thought she would have to leave Ginny alone or something.

She would have to spend some time with Hermione, she was too afraid of losing her friendship like she had with alot of her previous friends. What would she think of her going to see Dean? Ginny already knew the answer, she was disapprove obviously. Ginny wondered if Hermione would be nonjudgmental enough though, to tell her if she did decide to have a break from this and sneak out to see him.

o0o0

With the Burrow being the new headquarters of the Order, people were always stopping by. This didn't give Ginny much privacy in her recovery process at all. Everyone from Remus Lupin to Professor McGonagall probably got a full view into her what her life was this summer.

One night Ginny was feeling particularly nauseous from dinner and she was heading back into her room from a violent vomiting session. She was surprised to see Harry just outside of her bedroom door.

"Um. Hi Harry," Ginny said uncertainly.

"Hi Ginny, I was wondering whether I might talk to you?"

"Y-Yeah, sure. Come in," she said gesturing towards her door.

"Thanks," Harry said.

They walked in her bedroom and Harry copied her when she sat down on her bed.

"So," Ginny said awkwardly, "What's up?"

Harry took a deep breath. "Ginny, I think we both know how we've both been feeling for well, years now."

"W-What d'you mean?" Ginny asked, not wanting to be wrong.

Harry looked up at her with his big green eyes. "Ginny-I like you. I mean _really _really like you."

Ginny could practically feel the hallelujah chorus singing in her head. She felt elated.

"Really? I mean like Really?" she gushed, " I mean, uh I really like you too, you've probably always known that."

"Yeah," Harry said slowly, "I know. The thing is, we _can't_ ever be together."

The chorus stopped as abruptly as it had started and Ginny felt as though a bowling ball had just squeezed it's way down her throat and dropped heavily into her stomach.

She didn't say anything but just looked at him waiting for more explanation.

Harry saw that she was waiting for him to speak. "Ginny, it's not anything personal it's just that well-you _do _have some issues to work out and while I still like you in spite of them, I have my problems too. I mean my life is too hard and too complicated to think about having a relationship or something. Besides, what would _Ron _or any of your brothers for that matter think?"

"Who _care's _what any of them think?" Ginny practically yelled.

"I'm sorry Ginny," Harry said plainly. "You should just find someone else, I'm not good for you."

With that he was out the door and Ginny was left alone in her bed.

She cried silently for about fifteen minutes until she got her head together and her thoughts straight. If Harry thought she should find someone else, like she wasn't _good _enough for him, then that's exactly what she would do.

She knew what she had to do to make this work. She would have to wait until very late at night, when all of her family was asleep and somehow sneak out. She couldn't use the fireplace at her house to floo to her destination as the noise would probably wake someone up. Instead, she would sneak out to the village and use a fireplace there.

Ginny passed the time by making herself look as sexy as possible. If she was going to do this, she needed to do it right.

Sheer rage consumed her body as she put more makeup on than she usually wore and used a hair potion to make her hair as slick and straight as possible. She would have never thought about doing this if she wasn't so mad about the situation with Harry. In a way she was kind of glad, this gave her an excuse to do this without feeling too guilty.

She shaved her legs and then opened up her wardrobe to find what she would wear. She put on a tank top and denim skirt, articles of clothing given to her by some of her friends who had a muggle parent but her own mother wouldn't allow her to wear.

Ginny knew what kind of girl she was acting like, but when the rest of your life was so messed up it was really difficult to care. The only thing she craved was some sort of pleasure and distraction from the real problem she had in her life.

The last thing she did was write a short note to Dean to tell him that she was coming. He replied back quickly seeming excited. She couldn't disappoint him by not going now.

o0o

Late that night, when she was sure everyone was gone and formed some pillows in her bed to make it look like she was there and opened up her window. She was far up from the ground the she was fearless tonight. She had gone and grabbed a broom from the shed earlier. She kicked off from the window sill and flew all the way to the apple orchard where she felt the broom and ran into the village.

There was one secret Wizarding Pub in the village that she would have to find her way into. The village was basically deserted, so she merely cracked open the window and being so slim, slid through with ease.

She found a pot of floo powder and elated at how easy this was, through it into the fireplace, got in, and shouted her destination.

Dean was already in the sitting room and walked over to her and held out a hand to help her up. She took it gratefully and smiled at him.

"You look really pretty," he said.

"Thanks," she said looking at him herself.

He looked good in this jeans and t-shirt that showed off his muscles.

Still holding on to her hand, he led her up the stairs and into his bedroom.

He sat down on the bed and Ginny followed suit.

"Just to let you know, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do," he said.

"No, it's okay. There isn't really anything I don't want to do."

"Okay," he smiled, "Me too."

He leaned back on some pillows and held out his arms as if to say, "Come here."

Ginny uncertainly leaned back into his arms and he wrapped his muscular arms around her. As soon as he did this, she felt immediately at ease.

_"Okay," she thought. "This feels nice, I can do this."_

Dean looked her in the eyes and kissed her softly.

"We can take our time, okay?" he asked. He seemed so sweet.

Ginny nodded and leaned back in to kiss him again. She enjoyed the feeling of their lips moving together. Soon their kiss got a little heavier.

Before Ginny knew it, he was on top of her and they were kissing fiercely.

One hand slowly crept underneath her shirt and gave her goosebumps and he slid his hand up her stomach and felt her lace bra. Ginny wished she had thought to put one a better fitting one, but he didn't seem to mind and he felt underneath it and slid the tank top from of her.

He unglued his lips from hers for a second so that he could place her hands on the end of his shirt. She got the idea and pulled it over his head, eying his care chest and putting her hands all over his back.

Dean rolled over so that Ginny was on top of him. He stroked the small of her back and felt his way up back to her bra, where he unhooked it and flung it to the side with ease and rolled her back over.

He kissed her all over starting at her neck, working his way to her collarbone, and down to her breasts while she trembled with pleasure.

Her lips found his again in a tender, but fierce kiss as he unbuttoned her denim skirt and slid that off of her too so she was in just her panties now. He planted little kisses on her abdomen and she worked at the button on his jeans. She shuddered with anticipation as she felt the bulge in his boxers.

"You can take those off if you want," he whispered to her.

Ginny obliged and slid them off and stared at his hard length.

She shimmied down to the end of the bed and took it in her hands, kissing it softly and giving it little licks.

He gasped and grabbed the bedsheets in his hands as she took it in her mouth and moved her head up and down.

When he had enough of the teasing he pulled a light blanket over them and pulled her back up to him and found her lips again as she shut the light kissed her in the dark.

Her groped his hands all over the body until he found the last piece of clothing in their way and pulled it off.

Ginny was a little unsure of what to do, but she followed his lead.

He positioned himself and slowly pushed himself inside of her.

She gasped. She had never felt anything like it before. She felt a little pain but it was tolerable.

Her whole body trembled with the greatest kind of pleasure she had ever felt as he fell into a slow rhythm. It was so different than she had imagined. She never wanted it to end.

It didn't last long but it was incredible. They both shuddered as he came and he collapsed on top of her.

After laying there for a few minutes, Ginny came into the reality that she probably had to be getting home. She quickly pulled all of her clothes back on and gave Dean one more kiss before heading home.

She was panting as she came home to a quiet house and crept up the stairs as quietly as she could. She couldn't sleep that night, only consumed with the thoughts of what she had just done.

o0o0o0

_A/N: __This is supposed to be chapter 25 but it's now chapter 24 because I accidentally had to delete chapter six. I know that sounds weird right? I seriously am just that dumb :P I was polishing off the really early chapters where I didn't have any clue what I was doing, basically just deleting useless author's notes and unbolding them and instead making them italized to match my current author's notes. But silly me, I wasn't paying attention so I replaced a chapter in chapter six with what was supposed to be chapter five and there ended up being two of the same chapter (five). So now theres kind of a gap in the story seeing as that one no longer exists, but I'm not too worried about it because new readers hopefully won't think anything of it.  
_

_Also hooray for finally knowing what direction this story is going in! woot! I've got some good stuff but I'm officially back in school on monday so uhh I really need to concentrate on school and therefore hope to finish this fic quite soon. I've got enough story for maybe three or four more chapters or less? I really don't know. I really just need to finish stories and then have only one to work on because school really has to be my first priority you understand because I was a bit of a slacker last year. So I need to finish this and then "saving angel" and then I'll probably be working on "Our life as Weasleys" for quite some time until I finish that at which point I will probably be glad to take a bit of a break from fanfiction maybe with writing a few one-shots here and there and when I have more time like it's school vacation or summer I'll really concentrate on a new chapter fic. anyway sorry for like my fanfiction life plan here, i'll get to the story now. (and even with school I'll try to update once a week! operative word being try)_


	25. Someone forgot the most important thing

Ginny half waddled down to breakfast the next morning. There was a soreness in her lower half that she hadn't been expecting to feel a day later.

The rest of the house's occupants payed little attention to her as she sat down at the table, but yet she felt as though they were all eying her accusingly as if to shout fowl language at her and call her rude names.

Although she did her best to ignore all these irrational thoughts, it was hard to believe that she had done what she had the previous night. Everything seemed fairly normal at the moment. She almost didn't believe she had traveled all the way to London in the middle of the night to lose her virginity spontaneously.

She didn't really regret it. It had been fun, but Ginny felt an overwhelming sense of loss. Loss of childhood, loss of her innocence.

o0o

A week or so passed and Dean had invited her again to come anytime. Ginny made up a quick lie that her family was going on holiday. She wasn't ready to experience it again quite yet. She felt as though if she did it frequently she would really have lost all of her innocence. She might go back before the summer was over. Maybe.

The week preceding had been worse than ever in terms of her eating disorder. She felt as though her life was at an all time low. She regarded herself as one of those teenage screwups. Feeling like this, it was hard to be motivated.

Her family yelled at her that she wasn't even trying, but she felt as though there was nothing she could do about it.

The time came a few days later when her mother announced that she was getting therapy sessions.

Only by brute force on her mother's part, did Ginny agree to go. She floo reluctantly to the therapist's office at St. Mungo's.

The therapist was Healer Bradley, a young and kind faced woman. Ginny had already decided that she didn't like her one bit.

She had Ginny lie down on one of those creepy chairs and interrogated Ginny for the full hour's session. She asked her all sorts of personal questions that Ginny didn't even think was relevant to her eating disorder. Ginny answered truthfully, eventually opening up about everything. She was starting to feel as if she were opening up her soul to this complete stranger.

"So," healer Bradley said, " I think the real reason isn't because of your crush on the famous Harry Potter. It is most definitey because of much more than that. I think you have been overshadowed and babied by your brothers for your entire life. Maybe you just wanted someone to see you as something other than the baby of the family. Maybe you wanted that attention from Harry and you just didn't get it so you start thinking negative thoughts. You start believing that your weight is the problem so you resort to desperate tactics. Ginny, I don't want you to be hard on yourself. The reasons you do this are purely phsycological."

o0o0

One day that week she was feeling miserable and depressed but found some consolation in the fact that Tonks would be coming over for dinner that night along with some other order members.

She got through dinner that night pretty easily. Conversation was not about her by any means. She was secretly elated at the fact that she managed to sit there the whole time and barely get a forkful of chicken into her mouth.

After dinner, Ginny was forced to retreat upstairs to her bedroom because of the Order meeting taking place. Afterwards she trudged back downstairs out of sheer boredom to find Tonks alone in the kitchen gathering up some papers.

"Hey wotcher Gin!" Tonks said.

"Hey Tonk!"

"How did your therapy session go?"

"You know about that?" Ginny asked sheepishly. "It was fine."

"Hmm," Tonks said with a coy smile, " I saw you sneaking out of the house last week."

Ginny felt her stomach drop.

"Y-You did?"

"Yeah, don't worry though Gin. I'm not your mother. I totally understand. Was this uh- to see a boy?"

Ginny couldn't lie to Tonks. She was like a big sister to her. "Well uh, yeah it was." Ginny admitted feeling her face grow red.

Tonks' face was expressionless. Ginny coudn't tell if she was angry at Ginny or not.

Instead she pulled out a chair and motioned for Ginny to sit down next to her.

"Feel like giving me the details?" Tonks asked sounding like a Hogwarts aged girl gossiping.

Ginny gave a slight smile and admitted to everything.

When Ginny was finished telling the whole story Tonks let out a low whistle.

"Well I'm not going to lie Ginny. You're very young. Almost too young, but what you did was completely normal. I can't say I was perfect when I was your age, I understand,"

"So you don't think I'm a total skank?"

"Nah, I think you're a teenager."

"Thanks Tonks," Ginny said.

"No problem," she said, " I hope one of you cast the contraceptionn spell?"

Ginny's body turned to ice while her face felt as though it were burning.

"W-What?" Ginny stammered.

Tonks's face fell too. "Oh Gin!," The contraception spell!"

Memories of her and Dean's night together flashed vioently through Ginny's mind. Of course he hadn't cast a contraception spell! He was under seventeen and couldn't do magic outside of school!

_HOW _could Ginny have been so stupid?!

Of all the things to forget, she would have forgotten that one. Ginny felt dizzy, but yet she couldn't sit anymore. She had to get up and walk around.

From force of habit, Ginny aimed her finer at her throat and attempted to throw up but Tonks yanked her hand away from her mouth.

"Ginny! Focus-we need to find out for sure before you jump to any hasty conclusions. You _may _or may not have made a terrible mistake here."

o0o0o

_A/N: I'm baaack! Sorry it took so long. I've been really busy with the start of school and everything. I'm proud to say that I am not a little freshman anymore! I'm now a (somewhat) experienced sophomore! woot. Ok I know I'm still redic young but I'm I signed up for driver's ed. today!! I'm so glad I live in New Hampshire where you get to start learning at fifteen and a half and finish driver's ed right at sixteen and get your liscense right away because alot of my friends live in Massachussetts where you have to like get a stupid permit at sixteen and THEN go through the whole process!_

_Anyway a while back I mentioned I needed a blog! Well I made one! I mostly talk about fashion but with some other stuff too including Harry Potter. I only have one post haha but I'll add more when I get around to it. I really really want to be a Teen Vogue Girl of The Week so I took a bunch of pictures and sent them in and they're also in my blog. It would be awesome if you would check them out and like actually comment on my blog or let me know what you think cause I have no readers hah this is my petty way of advertising it. But hey you guys get to see what I actually look like. Beware the heinously Hermione hair in one of the pictures teehee. _

crayolaskiess-sarah . blog spot . com/ -- all one word! no spaces!


	26. Penultimate

_Don't wake up, baby sister, keep dreaming_

_Did he fill your cup? Baby sister, keep drinking  
Or he'll hit you  
He'll bleach your eyes  
So be a good girl  
Just for the night -_Damien Rice

o0o

"W-wait Tonks. You've got to be kidding me. I c-can't be, right?"

Tonks whipped out her wand.

"There's only one way to be sure."

She tapped her wand lightly on Ginny's shoulder and said something that she couldn't understand.

A little pink minus sign erupted from the end of Tonk's wand.

Tonks sighed in relief.

"That means you're not pregnant for now Ginny. Please be more careful I don't want to go through this again with you. You could still _get _pregnant. Some women don't know they are until a few weeks after. When's the last time you had your period?"

Sudden realization dropped on Ginny like a boulder being dropped in her stomach.

"I-I haven't," Ginny mumbled sadly.

"Ah," Tonks said nodding.

It was true. Ginny hadn't had her period since she had gone back to school after christmas break. It seemed unreal that it had been that long and Ginny hadn't even realized it. She had had so many other things on her mind since then that she didn't even give it a second thought or even think it was strange that she hadn't gotten her period like every other girl her age. She had gotten so skinny since then that her body had stopped functioning normally all together.

"Well Ginny it looks like you _are _off the hook," Tonks said. "You should really work on getting better sweetie."

Ginny nodded and couldn't bring herself to say anything else.

o0o

Ginny was staring out her bedroom window for a long time that night, just thinking. She felt as though a gift that she previously taken for granted when she actually had it and now it was gone altogether.

She couldn't believe just a few hours ago she had been worried that she might have a baby and now she was sad that she was never going to have one. Not unless she got much better. Even if she were to be better that far into the future, she would have to start _now. _

She felt incomplete. She couldn't stand the irony of it all. She had spent all this time to make herself perfect and no matter what the therapist had said about her subconsciously trying to look for happiness by perfecting herself, at the end of the day all she could think about was Harry. She would lie in bed at night and dream about him as she drifted off to sleep. Sometimes she could almost see herself married to him, living in a big house with little black haired boys running around. Now that dream wasn't going to happen at all because of the way she had been for the last year.

Ginny's eyes found an old photograph on her nightstand. It had been taken many years ago and showed a little Ginny about six or seven years old sitting on the lap of her oldest brother who was already about to be in his last year of Hogwarts. She had long and thick red hair that looked so different from her thinning and brittle hair now on her bed and there was a much healthier glow on her little face. Bill looked almost exactly the same as he did now, just a little more boyish. His arm lay protectively on her little shoulders. He was smiling at her while she laughed at the camera.

She was so lost in thought that she almost didn't hear a strong knock on her door.

"Come in," Ginny said snapping out of her thoughts.

She had been thinking about Bill and wasn't expecting the boyish and goofy grin that greeted her when the door opened.

"Charlie!" she shouted as she leapt up to give him a hug.

"Hey Ginny! It's so good to see you! It's been to long," her older brother said ruffling her hair.

Ginny started to feel self conscious as she let go of Charlie.

Charlie stared at Ginny with an unreadable expression for a full minute before speaking.

"Blimey Ginny, you look...not as I remembered. You're so skinny."

"I know Charlie," Ginny replied quietly. "I'm sorry you even have to see me like this."

Charlie sighed. "Nah, it's ok Ginny. You know you're still my favorite little sister."

"Thanks," Ginny laughed. Bill and Charlie both always said she was their favorite little sister, even know she was the only one.

"Alright well, Mum is yelling at me to come downstairs so she can chase me around with her wand and give me a "decent haircut' so I'll see you later. Night Gin," Charlie said.

"Night."

o0o

Ginny spent the next few days in a daze. Her family was worried about her. She mostly kept to herself, was silent at meal times, and spent her evenings over the toilet.

On the third day after her pregnancy scare Ginny had an epiphany. The only way to get better was to start over and have a clean slate. The only way to heal from a snake bite would be to suck all of the poison out. Wasn't this the same thing? The only way to heal from her eating disorder would be to suck all of the poison out of her life.

The very next day she wrote a long letter to Dean explaining the difficult year she had and the mistakes she had made. She told him that she wanted to take things slower and only go so far physically when she was fully healed and wanted to do it for all the right reasons. Hopefully Dean would understand and respect her in her decision. If he didn't, that was ok too. Ginny knew she was doing what was right for her.

The day after that she wrote out four separate letters to each two girls in her dormitory and her two fellow Gryffindor guys, who atleast used to be her closest friends at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, she had spent her entire fourth year distancing herself from them. She explained to them how sorry she was that she had avoided them and how much she wanted a fresh start so that they could have a great fifth year together.

On the third day of her healing plan, her mother made her visit the therapist again where she cooperated this time and talked in detail of her plan to recover. Her therapist was impressed and reported to her parents that she was confident Ginny would be on her road to recovery soon. Her parents were proud of her, something Ginny had not experienced in a while.

On Ginny's sixteenth birthday she gave herself the best birthday present she ever could have gotten. She ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner that day. She had not eaten three meals in longer than she could remember. It was so hard to eat all that food but Ginny promised herself at breakfast that she would do it. She did and it was great.

Her mum served a pink and white birthday cake that night with sixteen candles. She savored each bite. Nothing had ever tasted as good. Everyone was surprised that she actually ate her cake, but there was no way she could let her mother make her a beautiful sixteenth birthday cake and not eat it.

After opening her presents Ginny, her brothers, and Harry played Quidditch out in the orchard. Ginny's stomach hurt the entire time but she ignored it. It was something she told her self she would have to get used to. Just like the hunger pains in the very beginning, they would stop over time.

Ginny only thought for one little minute about throwing it all up at night as she lay in bed, but she resisted. Her stomach hurt from having more food than it had had in a year but she was determined to digest _all _of it. Maybe she would take it a little easier in the next few days as she got accustomed to food again, but this was her birthday and she was going to enjoy it.

Ginny had a great birthday that night. She fell asleep listening to the sound of summer crickets outside in the garden with her stomach squirming. It hurt, but it was also the best she'd felt in a long time.

o0o0o0

_A/N: Ah, I've been having trouble updating. I've been SO busy! But something happened this weekend that really reminded me of Ginny (in my story) so I decided I really need to update. I've also decided that this will be the** LAST** chapter! (except for a nice epilogue right after this) I'm sorry I know some of you will be mad at me and sad to see this fic end and I will as well, but if you listen to my reasoning I think you'll really see why it's time. _

_So there's this girl in my school. We'll just call her Suzan. I've known her for about three years now. She's always thought she was better than me and everyone else for that matter. She's part of that popular clique we all have/had/will have in school. She's gorgeous. She's smart. She gets any guy she wants. She's a star athlete in school...I've also known for a long time that she's bulimic (just so you know she's probably the most fake and bitchy girl you would ever see in your life)...and last night she tried to kill herself and the word spread throughout the school. It just goes to show that all those things do not make you happy and it really reminded me of Ginny. Ginny's popular, alot of guy's like her, girls are probably jealous that Harry Potter stays at her house every summer,she had an awesome family that we all would love to have, and yet she's still not happy. She's got problems (in my story atleast) and sleeps with guys just to find some artificial happiness like alot of girls like Suzan do. Talking to a friend of mine, we realized that Suzan is going to really get some perspective and maybe it would just take something as big as attempting suicide by jumping into the local river and having to get saved by some guy would make her see the error in her ways just like I think it would take Ginny having something as big as a pregnancy scare to see the error in HER ways. It's really just the climax of my story and I really want to end it right and do it justice while making it still as realistic as possible._

_Epilogue is next! I'm wondering would you guys rather see the epilogue depicting Ginny while she is going out with Harry during Half Blood Prince or post battle Deathly Hallows? Let me know in the reviews or if you'd rather a PM! Thanks loves!_


	27. Epilogue

_A/N: This will be the last of my insanely long author's notes so just deal with it because I know it's probably annoying and you just want to read the story but oh well . _

_1. I'll be in **New York City** next weekend to see Daniel Radcliffe perform in Equus!! Any chance any potter fans will be there? (the 27th?) I'm beyond excited to see Daniel Radcliffe in the same room as me!! I'm gonna be such a fangirl! My friend is coming with me because it's my sixteenth birthday present and I think we'll probably scream in delight when we see Dan's naked bod...it's gonna be great ;) we'll probably hang around the theater in hopes of seeing him but probably not for long because we have plans to take lots of pictures in the barbie house in the big Toys R US , have Times Square PhotoShoots, party it up in our hotel room, visit the hello kitty store, do some shopping in Soho, annnnnd visit the Met all in like a day and a half long visit before we drive home:( **LET ME KNOW IF ANYONE IS GOING TO BE SEEING EQUUS ON THE 27TH!! **i think i would just about die if i ran into like Laura Thompson or Micah Tannenbaum or Eric Skull ahhhh squee!)  
_

_2. I want to thank you one last time for making writing and completing my first chapter fic such an awesome experience. I've really loved talking to all you guys and the positive feedback has meant the world to me.:) If you've reviewed once or every chapter it doesn't even matter at this point but THANK YOU for being so awesome!_

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**Epilogue Part 1: End of Ginny's Fifth Year**

Ginny sighed contently and closed her eyes as she laid on the long grass basking in the warm, bright sun reflecting off the lake in the Hogwarts Grounds.

A warm strong arm slipped underneath her neck and held her close as she tucked her head in the crook of his shoulder.

Harry kissed the tip of her nose before closing his eyes as well.

They stayed that way in comfortable silence for a long time. They were in a secluded section of the grounds and were completely alone. The large hedges protected them from the view of the castle.

A pleasantly cool breeze swept by them and caused Ginny to wake up from the little nap.

Harry looked so cute napping beside her.

They were perfect for each other, in a way. They both had troubled pasts and ghosts in their lives that they preferred not to talk about too much but being with eachother made them feel like nothing was wrong in the world.

Ginny was more happy than she had felt in her entire life after meeting Harry for the first time on the Hogwarts Express.

She felt whole with Harry, completely content. It still hadn't even sunk in that this was her boyfriend. After years and years, he was finally all hers. She still couldn't believe that she had gotten him.

They had spent many an afternoon together doing this very thing. They could just lie together and say nothing but still walk away feeling like they'd had the best conversation in the world.

The sun slow started to set and the lights reflecting off the lake woke Harry up out of his sleepy daze and he smiled sweetly at Ginny.

"Hey," he said simply.

"Hey, she said back."

She popped yet another strawberry in to her mouth, which they had nicked out of the Great Hall at lunch time.

Harry leaned forward and kissed the strawberry juice off her lips and then leaned in for a long slow kiss, gently sliding his hand across her thin, but much more shapely stomach.

Harry was so much sweet and so much _better _for her than any other boy she had ever been with. He was better than Micheal and _loads _better than Dean.

Harry made her truly happy. She felt like she could be completely herself around Harry because he already knew everything about her.

Everything was perfect. She had eaten two or three meals a day every day since her last birthday and could count the times she threw up on one hand. She was now only a little thinner than her original weight. A few more months, and she will probably have gained it back completely.

It was so ironic that she had spent so much time trying to make herself perfect for him and now that she had gained some weight back and looked normal again she was dating him. It was almost as if the whole year of her life she had spent was never even worth it, because he had thought she was perfect the way she was.

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**Epilogue Part Two: Christmas Break, Ginny's Sixth Year. **(inspired by "Hope this Christmas by Ginny" and the Heartbreakers)

It was Christmas again, over two years since she had started her eating disorder and a little over one year since she had begun her recovery.

The wizarding world was in chaos. Harry was gone, as was Ron and Hermione.

_Happy Christmas Harry. Where did you go? _Ginny thought silently to herself.

She was still holding on, still hoping that their love would remain strong.

Just a few months ago, every thing seemed absolutely perfect, now everything was stripped away from her before she ever knew it.

It was devastating when Harry had broken up with her at Dumbledore's funeral, but she had always thought she knew it was coming. This was different, she didn't think he would actually _leave. _

Ginny had no clue where Harry was, if he was okay, if he still even _loved _her...

She felt incredibly lonely. What if Harry died in the process and she never got to kiss him one last time? What if he just never came back at all and they never would have known what had happened to him?

Christmas break during her sixth year was the only time she ever relapsed.

The school year wasn't as bad because she had other things to take her mind off Harry, but being at the Burrow at Christmas was too much to bear. The stress caused her to throw up her meal every night.

She absolutely _loathed _herself for relapsing, but the pain of Harry's absense was worse.

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**Epilogue Part Three: Post-Battle, Summer Before Ginny's Seventh Year. **

She had seen Harry finally in the Room of Requirement. She had known he was okay for a few months now, which was a good thing. She had atleast gotten herself onto a normal eating pattern again.

She had been dreaming about this moment for months. Seeing his sweet face again. Perhaps recieve a little wink, a smile? _Something?_

Of course he had too many other things on his mind...Did he even notice she was here?

Would he say anything? What if one of them died? Would they live without eachother? What if they both lived and he _still _didn't want to be together again? Would Ginny want to live for that?

She missed him so much. She didn't want to see him fighting, yet she was furious when her mother didn't let her out of the Room of Requirement.

The rest of that night was a blur. She later recalled sneaking out of the Room of Requiremnet when she couldn't stand the suspense anymore.

She vaguely rememered anything happening leading up to _that _moment. The moment she had seen her father and eldest brother carry her dead older brother into the great Hall. She stopped thinking about Harry for the rest of the night.

All she could think about was Fred.

She was a mess of blood, sweat, and tears. She felt so sure this was going to put her into relapse again and she didn't want that to hurt her parents and other siblings anymore because they woudl already be hurt enough.

Months later, at Fred's gravestone Ginny would thank him quietly for being the reason to never relapse again. Not that she was thankful for her brother dying, it pained her every day for the rest of her life.

As for Harry, that came with time.

During those first summer months without Fred, Harry was hesitant to disturb the family's grieving process.

Around August, they started taking long walks together at night talking things over.

Ginny felt completely content with Harry again soon enough. It was as though they had never been apart, and Ginny atleast was thankful for that. They were in love. Ginny didn't want to rush things of course, but somehow she knew that this was special, the real thing.

On Ginny's seventeenth birthday, she stayed with Harry overnight at Grimmauld Place for the first time.

It was the most beautiful thing she had ever experienced. She practically had tears in her eyes. Anything she had experienced with Dean just couldn't be compared.

Over their time together, Harry was sure to make sure Ginny ate well. He would bring her breakfast in bed, just for the occasion.

Nothing would be the same, and the family was having a hard time without Fred, but it was still pretty close to perfect with Harry.

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_A/N: Review of the WHOLE fic would be amazing! _

_I'm about to go press "complete" on this fic. This story has been a part of my life for seven months... I may cry..._


	28. A Conclusive Poem?

_A/N: Hi Again! I've missed you. Sorry to fool you into thinking I'd written another chapter of "Boy's Drama, and Eating Disorders". I'm basically adding a little chapter because I miss all the people that subscribed to this story that I don't get to talk to anymore. I haven't written in FOREVER but I miss it dearly. This story is like a lost child to me. I kind of want to expand on it. I don't know though. Anyway, I thought I'd try my hand at poetry. This is just a little something I pulled out of my bum one evening when I was feeling iffy. If you think critically about, it can be related to Ginny in this story. _

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Looks In the mirror...wistful eyes.

Takes one glance at her confused self.

Her heart strewn apart with lies.

Who is this girl, she wonders. This isn't me.

Underneath these cookie cutter clothes

there is a girl with originality.

Heavy makeup on her skin, disguising her from the world.

She fails to understand that without it, shes better, her.

Such a lost, confused, bitter teenage girl.

Her body is thin. She never wants to eat.

Just wants people to like what they see.

But take off those clothes, beautiful. Shoes off your feet.

Put on something YOU like. You come before the others.

With a sob and a sigh she lets free her perfectly straightened hair.

Rips out those pearl earrings, and turns on some rock and roll.

Now her classmates look down upon her for standing out. She breathes a sigh of relief because for once, she doesn't care.


End file.
